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Help dealing with non-snake lovers

P

poccodiablo

Canadian Member
I need a 12-step program for curing snake fears asap. I'm a new owner (4 months) with a very scared girlfriend. Is there a book out there or something for this sort of thing? Its taken me years to get the guy and she expects me to give him up come d-day. Now d-day is a while off but still I need to start chisling away at this erational fear before the time expires. The worst part is now that I have one.. I want more.. there just so damn addictive. There are so many morphs to collect. At four months the girlfriend still hasn't been able to look directlly at the snake with out squirming. I love my girlfriend and I love my pet snake but I can't talk about my snake infront of the girlfriend.. kinda sucks ass if you ask me. Mabey I'll just not goto church with her till she comes around.. (I'm a atheist by the way)
Anyways any help would be appreciated.

Thanks in advance
Jeff
 
I don't know about a 12-step program, but I've cured a lot of people just by teaching them about the animals, reinforcing that they are harmless, and just generally having them around all the time. My parents hated snakes but by the time my first clutch of eggs was hatching they were hooked. I think having non-threatening looking animals helps too. A droopy little kenyan sand boa or a bright pink hatchling corn snake are about the most harmless looking animals ever, and people are more likely to be interested and less afraid. Hopefully your girlfriend will come around. At very least you should be able to have the snake(s) in a seperate room that she doesn't have to go near as a compromise.

Me, I've got too many now, if it came down to them or my boyfriend, he'd have to go. Anyway, you can't be lonely with lots of snakes around right?
 
Most fears come from the unknown, and most people don't know much other than your basic snake steriotype: slimy, cold, mean, etc. I agree with Elaphe_Mo, teach her how wonderful they are.
 
True Love...

...conquers all.

Jeff,
My wife and I have been together for almost 20 years. She does not like snakes! I tried for ever to sway her mind. Although she brags about my large collection, and will stare over my shoulder at the eggs pipping, she has no intention of touching one of them. It was easy to convince her to let me keep the snakes as long as she didn't have to take care of them.
I must say I'm probably the farthest thing from a bible thumper....but going to church sure wouldn't hurt ya.

Matt L.
 
I don't see why it should matter if she keeps her fear forever. You aren't making her take care of them, hold them, or touch them. To ask you not to pursue further into a hobby you enjoy because she is afriad is not fair IMHO.

I do understand you wanting to make her less afriad but usually people with that large of a fear have to want to do it, and have to take the steps themselves. They just don't understand why we see them as "cool". But again, if she doesn't have to touch them, care for them, feed them or anything....why should she care? Keep them in an area she agrees not to go in or at least agree is for the snakes.

BMM
 
I agree with BMM

I have heaps of friends that are TERRIFIED of snakes. It may seem irrational to us snake lovers but surely you have phobias too? I'm not so keen on cockroaches. One of my mates keeps Madagascan Hissing cockroaches and I hate them, but he thinks they are the best thing since sliced bread :confused:

Anyway, why don't you and your girlfriend come to a compromise? I mean surely you dont HAVE to talk to her 24/7 about snakes and in return you shouldn't have to go to church with her. Or something like that. Or maybe she has a hobby that you're not keen on...try explaining it like that. You shouldn't have to give up your snakes but you shouldn't force her to appreciate them either. Either way, I hope it works out for you and that you get to keep your snakes. If not, send them to me!!

:D ;)
 
I have some roomates, and one of them was scared of snakes. Well he always said he wasn't scared he just didn't want to touch them, but anyway, his whole family came down to visit and it was the first time they saw my snakes. It also happened to be right at the time that I was feeding them. For people who don't like snakes they sure got close and watched very attentively (none of them will touch the snakes yet). But they are certainly more comfortable around them.:D

CZ
 
I was watching this show on MTV about a girl who was petrified of cats. The therapist guy who helped her started off by showing her pictures and making her hold cat dolls and stuff like that
Maybe you could do something like that with snake stuff?
Just a suggestion
The girl on the show got to the point where she could pet a cat without being TOO scared.
 
Thanks for all the replys

I like Iris's idea.. mabey I'll go get a beany baby snake and start there. :) I realize this is most definatlly something that will take time to remady and won't happen over night. I just wish there was a fast track to this whole process. I'd like her to get used to this guy while he is still small, since he is going to get bigger. Like... who could be scared of this little guy, with his big black eyes?

Thanks Everyone
Jeff Robertson
 

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scared

first thing you need to ask her why she is afraid...most off the time they have no special reason so it will be the unknown or the upbringing of your girl...
if thats the case you must teach her slowly...not force her into things she doesnt want, just tell het about the corns, introduce her to friends who have snakes too...and give her time...
if she has a special reason...well that depends on the reason...is it the mice you give (live mive??promisse to give frosen fooditems instead)
is it the look (cannot imagine but) show her pictures of other snakes...let her see a corn is the most kept en tame snake there is...show her all the morphs..show her hatchlings that are hatching(sure that`ll charm her:):)
but most off all give her time to aclimmate...
mariska
 
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