I'll be 18 soon and I'm looking to get a Albino corn snake. Small problem my mom was more or less torshured by her brothers with snakes when she was a kid. when i turn 18 im going to get a corn snake (i know your thing obey your parnets your a hatefull child for bringing your mom's greatest fear in to the house) but i have legal right to the Presute of happiness. so how do i keep a snake with out my mom knowing i have it at first? i want a snake and i want to help her get over her fear
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Help I need advice
- Thread starter esseresse
- Start date
doortech9
Access Systems Technician
Well hiding it is a bad idea. I think you put it at risk more than anything. What if it escapes? Your mom will surely chop at it with the broom... not really fair to the snake is it? IMO, just wait until you make your own rules and there will be less hurt. My two cents.
bitsy
Owned by Corns since 1991
You may have a legal right to the persuit of happiness, but so does your Mom. What's your greatest fear? Imagine if your Mom took in your least favourite teacher as a lodger! Phobias are horrible things to live with and (my two cents worth) I think you should be putting your Mom's feelings before your own wants.
Leave it until you have your own place, then there's no risk to you, your Mom or the snake.
Leave it until you have your own place, then there's no risk to you, your Mom or the snake.
Pursuit of happiness does not negate laws. IOW You cannot break laws in order to obtain your happiness.
With that said ...
In terms of legalities ... Your mother is the legal owner, of your current home, so she can have, or not have, what she wants in her home.
If renting, the landlord has the ultimate say but your mother, again, would be the legal lessee.
Personally, If I lived with my mother, I would not disrespect my mother's wishes... especially if it meant her having to face, per force, one of her greatest fears.
Plus, as has been mentioned, your snake could be at potential risk of harm. Not only by your mother but it is possible that you may not be able to provide it with proper care, &/or proper containment, due to its needing to be hidden. It would not be fair, to the snake, to place your desire before its welfare.
I think it would be best to wait, until you have your own home, before you get a snake.
With that said ...
In terms of legalities ... Your mother is the legal owner, of your current home, so she can have, or not have, what she wants in her home.
If renting, the landlord has the ultimate say but your mother, again, would be the legal lessee.
Personally, If I lived with my mother, I would not disrespect my mother's wishes... especially if it meant her having to face, per force, one of her greatest fears.
Plus, as has been mentioned, your snake could be at potential risk of harm. Not only by your mother but it is possible that you may not be able to provide it with proper care, &/or proper containment, due to its needing to be hidden. It would not be fair, to the snake, to place your desire before its welfare.
I think it would be best to wait, until you have your own home, before you get a snake.
v_various
secretly normal
Ahahahaha, oh, to be 18. The "persute" of happiness ends when it starts to harm or otherwise make life miserable for other people, your mom included. I think it's very selfish of you to want to do this, it's bad for your mom AND the snake when she finds out (and she will), what's going to happen to him then? I had to wait until I moved out to get a pet - I waited all the way to 24 years old or so because I wanted to be stable instead of living in places I knew I wouldn't be for while - moving with pets limits your options. It didn't harm me in the least to wait that long, I appreciate it more even.
Wait, and respect your mom. She put 18 years of hard work and money into you.
Also feel free to hang out here more and learn what you can before you get your snake.
Spurticus
New member
You're wrong.
I saw my first cornsnake when I was 13 years old. I have wanted one ever since then. I went back and asked my parents and they said NO. They had no phobia of snakes, they just didn't like them, and they were the final authuority on that.
I got married the first time when I was 22. A few years after we were married, I spoke to my first wife about getting a king snake or a corn. She to choose. If I got one, she'd pack up and leave. (wishing now, years later that I had chose the snake) . . . BUT, because we had a 2 year old child, I didn't get one then.
I just got my first corn snake 5 months ago at the age of 54.
All that to say this:
Regardless of your wants, there are other people around you to consider. ESPECIALLY if you are still living in your parents house. Maybe I'm old fashion, but you have no privacy in someone elses home if you are living with them. This is magnified by the fact your mother has a fear of snakes. It's called respecting those around you. . . . When you're in your own house, or living with someone who doesn't have a problem with your choice of pets, then have at it. Get 10-15. But as long as your living with your parents, you should respect their request for you not to bring one into their house. . . and respect you mom's fear enough not to be one of the family members that tortured her with them. (my 2 cents worth there)
measley
Smile, you are alive!!
I agree with what everyone. You shouldn't sneak or hide a snake from your mother but maybe you can sit down and talk to your mother about corn snakes, maybe show her some pictures on this site and explain that they are harmless, etc. You can also take her to a local pet store and hold a snake there, with your mom so that she can see one up close... Show her that you are responsible and can take care of a snake and provide the measures that will prevent escape.
There are other options that will show her that you are responsible as opposed to sneaking around behind her back.
There are other options that will show her that you are responsible as opposed to sneaking around behind her back.
KJUN
New member
I'm glad you are making it to 18. Now, try growing up. 
Adults don't sneak around and do things while being a guest in someone else's house. That's right - you are an adult and living in your parents home as a guest. Act like it.
I'm taking the fictional statement concerning legal right for hapiness as a joke. That's why I didn't blast that part of the post.
KJ
Adults don't sneak around and do things while being a guest in someone else's house. That's right - you are an adult and living in your parents home as a guest. Act like it.I'm taking the fictional statement concerning legal right for hapiness as a joke. That's why I didn't blast that part of the post.
KJ
Suzy
Shazoooooo!
First of all, let me say that I agree with everybody else.
Secondly, I had the same predicament as you do. I was (and still am, unfortunately) living with my parents. The first time I brought up the fact that I wanted a snake, my Mom told me flat out NO.
I respected her decision, and waited. I would get on the computer which is in the living room, and look at nothing but snakes. Seriously, for a year, I was at this site as well as any other snake site I could find every time I was online. Eventually, she started gaining interest, and she would ask me what kind of snake that was, and how big it grew, and so on. She took interest in what I was reading about. I explained everything I knew about snakes to her, and told her about Corn snakes. She asked me how big they grew, and I told her - she freaked out when I told her 4 - 6 feet, but I explained to her that they don't get girthy.
Then, I asked her again if I could get a snake. She told me that if I want one, it would be with my own money, and she would not pay for anything. I thanked her, and when I got my Economic Stimulus check, I went out and bought a snake.
I never forced her to hold my Corn. It was quite the opposite, actually. Rarely did I let her even see him because I knew that she was afraid of snakes. (She told me the reason she feared snakes was because of their tongue flicking. LOL - I explained to her that it's how they smell. I think she's still a little freaked out.)
Eventually, she would ask to hold my snake for short periods of time. I would let her hold him, and as soon as she didn't want to hold him anymore, I would take him back. She's really come around after actually learning about snakes.
She's come around so much, that she and my dad actually bought me a Black Milk Snake for my birthday. It took a year for her to come around, but it was definitely worth the wait.
If you want a Corn that bad, then I would recommend teaching her about snakes in a non-invasive way (like taking her to the zoo or having her look at care sheets and information online), or wait until you're living on your own. Hopefully she'll come around for you like my Mom did. I'm truly a lucky person. Good luck.
Secondly, I had the same predicament as you do. I was (and still am, unfortunately) living with my parents. The first time I brought up the fact that I wanted a snake, my Mom told me flat out NO.
I respected her decision, and waited. I would get on the computer which is in the living room, and look at nothing but snakes. Seriously, for a year, I was at this site as well as any other snake site I could find every time I was online. Eventually, she started gaining interest, and she would ask me what kind of snake that was, and how big it grew, and so on. She took interest in what I was reading about. I explained everything I knew about snakes to her, and told her about Corn snakes. She asked me how big they grew, and I told her - she freaked out when I told her 4 - 6 feet, but I explained to her that they don't get girthy.
Then, I asked her again if I could get a snake. She told me that if I want one, it would be with my own money, and she would not pay for anything. I thanked her, and when I got my Economic Stimulus check, I went out and bought a snake.
I never forced her to hold my Corn. It was quite the opposite, actually. Rarely did I let her even see him because I knew that she was afraid of snakes. (She told me the reason she feared snakes was because of their tongue flicking. LOL - I explained to her that it's how they smell. I think she's still a little freaked out.)
Eventually, she would ask to hold my snake for short periods of time. I would let her hold him, and as soon as she didn't want to hold him anymore, I would take him back. She's really come around after actually learning about snakes.
She's come around so much, that she and my dad actually bought me a Black Milk Snake for my birthday. It took a year for her to come around, but it was definitely worth the wait.
If you want a Corn that bad, then I would recommend teaching her about snakes in a non-invasive way (like taking her to the zoo or having her look at care sheets and information online), or wait until you're living on your own. Hopefully she'll come around for you like my Mom did. I'm truly a lucky person. Good luck.
kathylove
Pragmatic & Logical
Yes, you will be a legal adult at 18, and can pursue your own brand of happiness.
Just go out and buy or rent a house (and deal with the landlord if he / she is also ophidiophobic), and then you can do as you please. Until then, you are a guest in mom's house and subject to her rules. That will apply even if you turn 40 and are still living at home (let's HOPE not, lol!). It seems just common sense and common courtesy to respect the property owner who lets you live there, mom or not. I think you would hope for the same courtesy if you allow somebody to live in YOUR home someday.
That said, try to see if negotiation will help you achieve your goal. Perhaps you could start with a garter snake or African house snake - something really small and innocuous. If even that is too much to ask, back up and try for a leopard or crested gecko or bearded dragon, if you have any interest in those, or similar species. (Don't buy one ONLY to advance your cornsnake goal, but do consider one if you like them anyway). Tortoises and frogs are also herps that are less scary for many people, and might get a "foot in the door" to help her get over her fears.
If that doesn't work, you might be able to buy and keep a corn at a friend's house. You can show photos of it and talk about it with your mom, and maybe she will eventually see you are serious and work out some kind of deal for you to bring it home.
But unfortunately for you, it is her house and she has the final decision. Someday you will be on the "other end" of the debate, as a home owner, and you will wonder why you ever thought it should be otherwise.
Good luck!
Just go out and buy or rent a house (and deal with the landlord if he / she is also ophidiophobic), and then you can do as you please. Until then, you are a guest in mom's house and subject to her rules. That will apply even if you turn 40 and are still living at home (let's HOPE not, lol!). It seems just common sense and common courtesy to respect the property owner who lets you live there, mom or not. I think you would hope for the same courtesy if you allow somebody to live in YOUR home someday.
That said, try to see if negotiation will help you achieve your goal. Perhaps you could start with a garter snake or African house snake - something really small and innocuous. If even that is too much to ask, back up and try for a leopard or crested gecko or bearded dragon, if you have any interest in those, or similar species. (Don't buy one ONLY to advance your cornsnake goal, but do consider one if you like them anyway). Tortoises and frogs are also herps that are less scary for many people, and might get a "foot in the door" to help her get over her fears.
If that doesn't work, you might be able to buy and keep a corn at a friend's house. You can show photos of it and talk about it with your mom, and maybe she will eventually see you are serious and work out some kind of deal for you to bring it home.
But unfortunately for you, it is her house and she has the final decision. Someday you will be on the "other end" of the debate, as a home owner, and you will wonder why you ever thought it should be otherwise.
Good luck!
tesiacoil
New member
My mom was also terrified of snakes. I'm in the process of moving back home, and moving out in a few months, so I'm at home for the time being, and I decided to get a snake while I was at home, and she said no. But I pretty much told her I was getting it anyways [ she could kick me out if she wanted to, right? I'm leaving soon anyways. But I'm 21, not 18. ]and I wanted to show her more about them.
Her number one concern was what if the snake escaped? Well, I told her that if a cornsnake escaped, then it would most likely die. The nice thing about cornsnake, is that we really have nothing to fear from them, and it really takes explaining that to a lot of people that get them to come around. I know someone else who is afraid of snakes, absolutely refused to touch them. I told her corn snakes have no teeth, don't bite, and have no venom, and she said "Well, why didn't you tell me that before? I definitely would have held one then."
My mom LOVES my snakes now. She often goes into my room to watch them, waters them when I can't, calls them her "Grandchildren" And loves to hold them. She's still scared of snakes, but not mine.
If you sit down with your mom and explain to her how safe corn snakes are, and how they are a great first pet for many people because they only really require to be fed once a week, and maybe get some books on them to show her how interested you are and get her to read some then maybe she'll understand some more. Turning 18 really does not mean you can do what you want, you'll learn that pretty fast. Once you move out, then you can do what you want but as long as you are in your parents house and you want respect as well, I'd respect her wishes.[/SIZE]
Her number one concern was what if the snake escaped? Well, I told her that if a cornsnake escaped, then it would most likely die. The nice thing about cornsnake, is that we really have nothing to fear from them, and it really takes explaining that to a lot of people that get them to come around. I know someone else who is afraid of snakes, absolutely refused to touch them. I told her corn snakes have no teeth, don't bite, and have no venom, and she said "Well, why didn't you tell me that before? I definitely would have held one then."
My mom LOVES my snakes now. She often goes into my room to watch them, waters them when I can't, calls them her "Grandchildren" And loves to hold them. She's still scared of snakes, but not mine.
If you sit down with your mom and explain to her how safe corn snakes are, and how they are a great first pet for many people because they only really require to be fed once a week, and maybe get some books on them to show her how interested you are and get her to read some then maybe she'll understand some more. Turning 18 really does not mean you can do what you want, you'll learn that pretty fast. Once you move out, then you can do what you want but as long as you are in your parents house and you want respect as well, I'd respect her wishes.[/SIZE]
v_various
secretly normal
tesiacoil
New member
I know but not that you can see. It was enough to get someone not to fear them.
kathylove
Pragmatic & Logical
True, the teeth are small, and they seldom bite. But I would be careful not to lie about your snake - just say the teeth are too small to matter, and they seldom bite. If she eventually finds out you lied about corns, she will wonder what else was untrue (maybe they really ARE venomous and DO get to 16 ft. long, lol!)
v_various
secretly normal
As someone who helps with reptile educational reptile shows, I must say, spreading misinformation is NOT cool. I agree with Kathy, the teeth are too small to matter and they seldom bite so just tell her that. When people ask me if the snakes bite, I tell them to look at the size of the head and picture the teeth. I tell them it's no more than an itchy pinch, and you probably wouldn't notice if you weren't looking. Some members tell them "all animals bite, it's me you have to worry about if you make him scared enough to bite you" (in a joking tone though).
kathylove
Pragmatic & Logical
Yes, I talk to A LOT of beginners buying their first snake, and I like to use humor. They always ask if their new baby will bite. I tell them that "you look like a giant monster about to eat him, so he will try to get away or defend himself". But that the bite will be MUCH LESS serious than what happens when my cat plays too roughly! That it is more like a mosquito bite, but doesn't itch as much. That usually gets them to thinking it is pretty silly, even if they are still a little nervous. Honesty is best, although you can certainly use humor to downplay any negative aspects.
The_Thunderer
New member
LOL. I use humor... When my kids (even the "dorm" girls we take care of) ask if a baby corn or king's bite will hurt, I pinch them (JOKINGLY) in the arm. When they cry "OWWW!" I tell them that that pinch hurt much worse than any baby corn/king bite ever will. LOL.
Of course, I wouldn't do this with just any kid around... could wind up in jail... even if done jokingly.
Of course, I wouldn't do this with just any kid around... could wind up in jail... even if done jokingly.
KJUN
New member
When someone says they are scared to hold on of my corns, I look them in the eye with a straight face and nuetral ton and say, "Don't worry. You won't hurt it." At that point, everyone usually laughs and the person says something like, "It isn't him that I was worried about." After the laughter, it is hard for them to not at least get up the nerve to touch it. I guess - even though they KNOW I was just joking and pretending the misunderstand - the idea that one COULD mistake such a fear as being concerned for the snake shows exactly how harmless the snake really is!
I always reply that ANY animal with a mouth CAN bite. Nobody has countered with "Oh, yeah - what about jawless fish?", but I think that answer would at least make ME giggle......lol
The ends do not always justify the means. Period. That's a lie, and the teeth ARE able to be seen if you open their mouth. Heck, I've got teeth and you can't see them until I open my mought, either. Lying (especially to a parent) is nothing to be condoned. Plus, 21 or 50, I'd kick an adult child out for saying "my way or I leave." I'd be nice enough to let them pack before kicking them out, though......
Anyway, there are ENOUGH lies spread about reptiles without defenders spreading more of them. Why not tell the truth? I always explain that the bite is much less of a scratch than people typically get from blackberry/dewberry plants when picking wild fruits from them. Thorns scratch a lot worse than snakes, and people don't fear a thorn scratch! (If you do, you are a weanie that I don't want to talk to. If you've never picked blackberries, you are an urbanite that I don't want to talk to, either....LOL.
KJ
I always reply that ANY animal with a mouth CAN bite. Nobody has countered with "Oh, yeah - what about jawless fish?", but I think that answer would at least make ME giggle......lol
The ends do not always justify the means. Period. That's a lie, and the teeth ARE able to be seen if you open their mouth. Heck, I've got teeth and you can't see them until I open my mought, either. Lying (especially to a parent) is nothing to be condoned. Plus, 21 or 50, I'd kick an adult child out for saying "my way or I leave." I'd be nice enough to let them pack before kicking them out, though......
Anyway, there are ENOUGH lies spread about reptiles without defenders spreading more of them. Why not tell the truth? I always explain that the bite is much less of a scratch than people typically get from blackberry/dewberry plants when picking wild fruits from them. Thorns scratch a lot worse than snakes, and people don't fear a thorn scratch! (If you do, you are a weanie that I don't want to talk to. If you've never picked blackberries, you are an urbanite that I don't want to talk to, either....LOL.
KJ
v_various
secretly normal
Shoot, I should probably revise my answer then. I thought about it, and since I puff up when when I get bit by people sometimes, it's probably just me. I have werid reactions sometimes : /
haha, I'll have to use that one.
I'll rep that!
Last time I was picking wild berries in Nova Scotia, I stepped on a hornets nest and got stung a few times. I got rural cred, lol.
MyLittleGuyCyrus
New member
Help Mom with her Phobia
Up until a month ago, I was terrified of snakes. Now, I have a sweetheart of a snake. He is a 2.5 month old corn named Cyrus.
I would not get the snake and hide it. How did I get over my fear? My kids school had the "Snake Lady" visit and my kids begged me to go! I relented, and was squeamish the whole time, until I sw Faraday and Cordelia. They were to Sun Corns and they were gorgeous! I nervously asked to hold one (Cordelia) and she just curled up on my arm and chilled.....I fell in love! One week later to the day I brought Cyrus home. Me gorgeous Amel! I love him to death!
The point of my story is: Instead of sneaking around, try and assist your mom with this fear. Explain to her that corns would almost rather do anything else other then bite and let her know that Corn Snake don't have fangs. That was huge for me. I hope this helps!
Up until a month ago, I was terrified of snakes. Now, I have a sweetheart of a snake. He is a 2.5 month old corn named Cyrus.
I would not get the snake and hide it. How did I get over my fear? My kids school had the "Snake Lady" visit and my kids begged me to go! I relented, and was squeamish the whole time, until I sw Faraday and Cordelia. They were to Sun Corns and they were gorgeous! I nervously asked to hold one (Cordelia) and she just curled up on my arm and chilled.....I fell in love! One week later to the day I brought Cyrus home. Me gorgeous Amel! I love him to death!
The point of my story is: Instead of sneaking around, try and assist your mom with this fear. Explain to her that corns would almost rather do anything else other then bite and let her know that Corn Snake don't have fangs. That was huge for me. I hope this helps!