does anyone else ever feel like this? or am i just crazy?
I remember telling people that if I couldn’t have a snake pet with me I could not function properly (back when the floor had to have a vote) I wasn’t kidding. I was going to raise her, watch her grow into a beautiful mature corn and now she is gone and I don’t know what I will do. Funny thing is I still can’t force myself to regret loosing her. I am still incapable of regret. I keep thinking, in my naive mind, that although I am miserable at the moment, this will tern out for the best. Somehow.
Instead I am satisfied with myself and just want to hold my Circe, any Circe again. Not being able to feel her is like missing part of my body. Not only is it unnerving and depressing, not only do I miss her, but it is actually physicly disturbing. it's been a week and for a week every time i dream, i dream of finding my Circe, only to realize it's not her, or it is her, or that she is dead, or that she had babies, or that she is an adult... i try to sleep but all i can think of is the lack of Circe in my hands. my hands have forgotten her. as if they were cut off and i can no longer remember what it feels like to have hands. this is how i feel. (a bit from my LJ i thought i'd share for some reason. i am going insain, maybe that's why. lol)