rant/vent: This is why I shouldn't have friends!

[Pal-O-Mine]

I have a friend who is going through a bad patch right now. She's been unemployed up to a few weeks ago, ( just got a new job doing construction ) is going through a rather messy divorce and trying to raise her teen-aged son by herself now. She has a small dog and a cat. With no $$$ to properly take care of the animals, her cat came home pregnant. Cat and juvenile kittens are now living under her porch. This morning she called to say she thought that one of the kittens had been hit by a car and couldn't use its hind end. Stupid me offered to take it to work with me. I figured if it wasn't that bad, I would help her out. But I was kinda sorta expecting the other option.

I was right. Cat had a broken spine near the pelvis, had no feeling in its hind legs and was passing bloody urine. Vet said he had nerve damage and said we really should amputate the tail and put him on a course of antibiotics and he would have to be helped to pass urine and stool. But that even in the best of conditions, his prognosis was guarded as to if a full recovery was even possible. He could never be an outside cat, or use stairs and he might have bowel problems all his life. So we euthanized him.

Now I feel like CRAP! This kitten was so nice and friendly. Purred no matter what was being done to him. There was a good chance that even if I offered to work with him, his treatment would make me broke!

I feel like I need to give anyone who wants to be my friend, an application! First: you gotta be rich! Second: you gotta take responsible care of your animals. And just because I'm a vet tech does not mean I will advise you or treat your animal. I am not a cheaper version of a vet! ( Please tell my in-laws this! ) Do not expect me to berate my boss because he's doing his job! Do not expect me to work miracles! Do not expect me to go broke trying to save YOUR animal! Do not expect me to condone the "Just take it out back and shoot it!" attitude.

No, she did not say this to me. But everyone around her was.

Look, I'm not heartless! I've been a newly divorced pet owner before trying to make ends meet on half the money as before. It was hard! I remember well how hard it was! But I was not a vet tech then. I was just lucky that nothing majorly earth shattering happened to my animals then. I was VERY LUCKY!

I'm just really bummed by all this. I tried to help. Maybe I shouldn't have even bothered! UGH!

Devon

 

[Nanci]

Of course you should have helped. The kitten is no longer suffering because you did. It's got to be awful to have to ask for that kind of help.

 

[bitsy]

The vet wouldn't have euthanized him if there had been any chance for a decent quality of life. Just reading that list of injuries and the prognosis, I would've done the same in your place even if I were a millionnaire and had unlimited funds for the best care in the world.

You did right by the animal and right by your friend. The fact that she has people whispering in her ear that you did the wrong thing, is neither here nor there.

Stay strong!

 

[Susan]

First, you did nothing wrong and did do everything you were capable of doing so please, do not let what others say get to you. If they were so concerned, why didn't THEY pay for all the treatment and take care of the kitten? And if they expect you do do things for their pets for free, turn the tables on them. Oh, you work in construction? I want to add a room to my house or take a wall down or put in another window. Please do it for me for free! They'll find out that just because you're friends, don't expect to get special privileges in relation to each others job. It isn't going to happen. I ask clients when they don't want to pay their bill when services are rendered if they walk into Walmart, fill up their cart and then ask if they can pay for it all when they get their next paycheck. And what makes them think that an animal hospital is any different than any other BUSINESS. Pets are a luxury. You can't afford to care for it properly then you shouldn't have it, and if you do but can't afford to fix it when things go wrong, don't expect us to do it "because we love animals". Car mechanics usually love working on cars, but they sure as heck won't fix yours for free because of their love! They should fore-go the alcohol, cigarettes, dessert, snacks, movies, whatever for a week, save up the few dollars and have the cat spayed at the local low-cost clinic.

 

[Christen]

First, you did nothing wrong and did do everything you were capable of doing so please, do not let what others say get to you. If they were so concerned, why didn't THEY pay for all the treatment and take care of the kitten? And if they expect you do do things for their pets for free, turn the tables on them. Oh, you work in construction? I want to add a room to my house or take a wall down or put in another window. Please do it for me for free! They'll find out that just because you're friends, don't expect to get special privileges in relation to each others job. It isn't going to happen. I ask clients when they don't want to pay their bill when services are rendered if they walk into Walmart, fill up their cart and then ask if they can pay for it all when they get their next paycheck. And what makes them think that an animal hospital is any different than any other BUSINESS. Pets are a luxury. You can't afford to care for it properly then you shouldn't have it, and if you do but can't afford to fix it when things go wrong, don't expect us to do it "because we love animals". Car mechanics usually love working on cars, but they sure as heck won't fix yours for free because of their love! They should fore-go the alcohol, cigarettes, dessert, snacks, movies, whatever for a week, save up the few dollars and have the cat spayed at the local low-cost clinic.

OMG I am posting this on my FB wall!! My in laws are great but once my neighbors caught wind that Jon was a mechanic and I was a Vet Tech. There were people knocking on our door at all hours. When we moved we didn't tell them where we were going and we did not tell the new neighbors what we did. This neighborhood is good because there are three mechanics on our street and I am no longer working so I don't have to lie. lol

 

[Zombiegirl]

oh gosh i know how you feel! being a tech is hard...i get asked questions all the time by friends/family lol.

You did right by the animal and right by your friend. The fact that she has people whispering in her ear that you did the wrong thing, is neither here nor there.

definitely agree with this...YOU did right by the kitten and your friend...other people's opinions are just that...if they think they could've done better why didn't they step up up and offer to help?

 

[Pal-O-Mine]

It just bugs me to hear clients complain about the price of euthanasia and mumble something about taking the animal out back and shooting it. Like that's EASIER! A bullet in the head is messy and NOT an instant death! ( So I've been told! ) Euthanasia is so much more peaceful and dignified a passing than a bullet. And this ain't the middle of nowhere or the old West! And I can't exactly tell the client that we're the cheapest vet in the area because that would be slandering the other guys. But we are!

You know I've had to hold a lot of pets while they get put down. I'm paid to be emotionally detached because you need at least one person in the room whose not bawling their eyes out to do the dirty deed. But that doesn't mean some don't get to me. No, I haven't shed a tear. But THIS got to me. It may have been slightly different if the animal was old and gray and its time had come. I HATE putting down young 'uns!

Thanks for the kind words. I know I'm usually always silly, happy on this forum. That's 'cause to don't see the need to bug you guys with every little drama in my life. But I know their are vet techs on here who can relate and I knew you guys would sympathize. ( And this forum is not facebook where it might get back to her! ) I do sincerely appreciate all your kind thoughts and words.

Thanks guys!

Devon

 

[kathylove]

What a terrible thing to go through, especially when trying to do a favor!

I can empathize with your concerns. I get A LOT of email looking for help. I really do enjoy helping people, especially new owners. I have written a lot of FAQs that I can often email out, too. But a number of people have veterinary questions for me, specific to their animal's problem. They just don't seem to realize that not only am I not a vet, but even a vet wouldn't want to diagnose from afar with just a photo, lol! So I tell them I can only speak in generalities, and tell them what I might do if it was my animal, and most importantly, tell them when they really do need to find a herp vet.

You help when you can, how you can. And then you try not to feel too badly when you just can't offer much / enough help, either because it is beyond your knowledge, or beyond the financial or time limits of what you can afford to do for free. If your best effort is not enough, then they will just have to find somebody else. But you will sleep better knowing you did what you could to help an animal.

 

[Kokopelli]

Hey man, sorry for the ordeal.
Having had to euthanize several snakes myself recently... I must say that people love to second guess your decisions when they are not in your shoes.

People at times, fail to realize that preserving the animal's life when the injury is severe is an act of selfishness rather than kind-hearted... they do not want to lose a beloved pet. It is -so- easy not be present, imagine the scene and think differently... especially when it's not their burden to shoulder that horrible decision.

I know someone who expects everyone to not sell Crypto infected animals, to test animals, and so forth- but when the chance of it hitting his collection rose, he bailed out and just ran along and sold several animals without saying a word.

Another keeper, who is a good friend, thinks that selling the animals is more humane than euthanizing them.

The choice you make and your reasons are irrelevant- people will continue second guessing you whatever you do... human beings are stupid and constant critics of things they do not understand well enough.

In the long run... it doesn't matter what they think- it is all about you being able to look back and know you did the right thing.... looking back and feeling you were forced by others to do something you morally opposed is probably one of the worst things a person can drag with him.

 

[kathylove]

"...The choice you make and your reasons are irrelevant- people will continue second guessing you whatever you do... human beings are stupid and constant critics of things they do not understand well enough.

In the long run... it doesn't matter what they think- it is all about you being able to look back and know you did the right thing...."

So very, very true!!!

 

[Greeling]

I think you did the right thing, no animal deserves to suffer a poor quality of life just because it seems less cruel to keep it alive. Sometimes humane euthanasia is best, and I think this was definitely an applicable case. The poor little kitty wouldn't even be able to relieve himself on his own, that's no life for any animal =(

I also feel your pain about people trying to freeload off your talents, granted being able to draw and illustrate is not in the same realm as being a trained medical professional, but I still get people who don't want to compensate me for time and materials. apparently it doesn't count as labor if you're friends with someone T_T

 

[diamondlil]

Devon, you did the right thing for that kitten. I have neighbours with unfixed cats, so guess what? The two female kittens they kept the first year had kittens in their first year. The tomcat is getting scarred up and mangy from being out fighting and breeding, he must only be around 4 but looks like an old cat, all skin and bones in the breeding season. I may be wrong but I think the females are all getting big bellies again, except one has disappeared so may have been hit by a car......some people just shouldn't own pets.

 

[ShenziSixaxis]

A bullet in the head is messy and NOT an instant death! ( So I've been told! )

A bullet to the head destroys the brain in less than a second. It's not literally instant, but it's too fast to be registered in the organ, so it's basically an "instant death". Messy, but painless.

 

[Outcast]

Devon, you did the right thing. It had to be done. I would have been sad, but I understand your pain when it comes to friends and family taking advantage.... I am in no ways a professional, not a vet or vet tech, never went to school for that... But, my family knows that I have animals and tend to know quite a bit about what I keep, so they tend to ask me questions about everything. I am constantly getting calls about stuff I have no idea about, like "why does my dog have diarrhea?", 90% of the time I tell them that they need to talk to a vet, because I am in no way able to give them medical advice... They never listen to me...

 

[Pal-O-Mine]

"A bullet to the head destroys the brain in less than a second. It's not literally instant, but it's too fast to be registered in the organ, so it's basically an "instant death". Messy, but painless."

Its what happens after the bullet is fired until the actual expiration that I was referring to. In hunting for food its one thing. ( I was raised in a household that ate game.) But when the gun is pointed at a family pet that everyone loves......well its rather a different matter, emotionally speaking that is. I refuse to go into detail because it might be too upsetting, especially for ME right now!

Devon

 

[susang]

I'm sorry this is bothering you Devon, it would me too. I agree with everyone above. However, because I am so snarky I may have told friend if the cat had been spayed in the first place none of this would have happened. Along with if you can't afford vet bills don't have animals.

 

[Optreptiles]

Hey, I am sorry to hear of your ordeal. I agree with everyone else, with the injuries described above there is no way it could have had a good quality of life. You did the right thing, and don't let people who don't know what you're going through try to tell you otherwise! I (thankfully) have never had to euthanize an animal, but I would have done the same thing if I was in your place. Not to mention it's just the cycle of life, if cat's didn't die, then we would all be swimming around in a sea of felines!

 

[starsevol]

Hey, I am sorry to hear of your ordeal. I agree with everyone else, with the injuries described above there is no way it could have had a good quality of life. You did the right thing, and don't let people who don't know what you're going through try to tell you otherwise! I (thankfully) have never had to euthanize an animal, but I would have done the same thing if I was in your place. Not to mention it's just the cycle of life, if cat's didn't die, then we would all be swimming around in a sea of felines!

There is nothing "cycle of life" about ANY of this.
This was a kitten never should have been born, and was neglected and ended up dying a premature death from something preventable (if he had been kept out of the stinking road to begin with). Not a much loved pet that finally succumbed to old age.

That said, Devon, I am truly sorry that this happened to you, and to that sweet kitty. You did the right thing though, and I am sure that little baby somewhere is grateful for all you did for him. You are a good person.

 

[Optreptiles]

There is nothing "cycle of life" about ANY of this.
This was a kitten never should have been born, and was neglected and ended up dying a premature death from something preventable (if he had been kept out of the stinking road to begin with). Not a much loved pet that finally succumbed to old age.

That said, Devon, I am truly sorry that this happened to you, and to that sweet kitty. You did the right thing though, and I am sure that little baby somewhere is grateful for all you did for him. You are a good person.

In my honest opinion, if the cat was hit by a car, it was just meant to be and there is nothing the OP could have done to change that. There is nothing ANYONE could have done to stop it, other than cat's owner(s), who have clearly failed as pet owners. It was an all around tragic incident, but nothing could have stopped it but divine intervention. This is just my honest opinion, I am sure you have your own opinion on this, but that's just my two cents.

 

[Shiari]

A bullet to the head destroys the brain in less than a second. It's not literally instant, but it's too fast to be registered in the organ, so it's basically an "instant death". Messy, but painless.

Except when it doesn't. People survive, rarely, being shot in the head. Euthanasia is far kinder and much more sure.