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snake hating friends

Pebbles

Pebbles

New member
hi everyone! so as a fairly new owner of 2 beautiful corn snakes, I have a question for you all.
99% of my friends hate the fact that i own snakes. one of my very best friends refuses to come to my house because I have them (even though i put a combination lock on the cage she will not step foot inside my door). My very best friend has not come over since i got the snakes, but wont really give a reason why. and any pictures I put on myspace, facebook of my Fluffy and Aleister get comments like "ew, sick," or the one of them eating "you're demented".
Now, I admit I was once one of those kinda squeamish girly girls who did not want a snake in my house. but when my husband suggested it, I at least did some research, and gave it a try (fell in luv lol). But am I really just destined to be friendless now? will they maybe come around? Should I try to force them to come over and see how nice corn snakes are? I try to tell them, they are not like you think... evil beings with huge fangs coming to hunt you! They are tiny docile baby corn snakes the size of a lil worm! lol
What do you all think? Any similar experiences? I need some advice please.
 
I tend to try to ignore most of those sort of comments. I did ask one work colleague who was being quite offensive about my snakes how she'd feel if I said similar things about her dog and that seems to have stopped her bothering me.
Any friends who won't visit (unless they really are phobic) might come 'round in time, if not it's their loss.
 
Thats a shame to hear about how your friends are acting about this. When I got my first snake I was the first person in my family and friends to own a snake, (actually I think I still am! lol ) and everybody was like "eww grose, your weird!!" but it was all in jest really. They still came round and 95% would go and have a look just out of curiousity and all were suprised that they wern't slimy and ready to kill anything that came near it!
So it is a shame that you friend won't even come round, but hopefully in time she'll come round to the idea and brave it! Good luck and enjoy your new pets.....I love it, in fact I have a total of 14 snakes now, but i'm sure they'll always be room for more! lol
 
Frankly, that kind of stuff makes me angry and I usually either stop bringing it up and change the subject when it does come up or drop the friendship. Guess that's why I don't have a lot of friends, but I love the ones I have. Heh. :)
 
That's a difficult question for me to even imagine. I kept reptiles since I was a kid, and most (all?) of my friends have always been involved in the reptile world. And my family got used to my eccentricities when I was a kid. So the question has never come up!

I would suggest just doing what you want to do, but keep it low key among your non herper friends. They will get used to it EVENTUALLY. In the meantime, start joining some reptile groups, go to expos, join forums such as this, and make NEW friends who share your interest. Once you have new friends to share with, it will become a non-issue with your old friends. Either they will come around to appreciate, or ignore your pets, or you will sequester your herp interest to share with your new found herper friends.
 
You're running with the wrong crowd...stay here with ussssssssssssssssss, WE understand!!!! :)

That said, I have a little story. 13 years ago last April, I got my first cornsnake. A yearling amel male named Calvin. My best friend Karen was HORRIFIED!! She could not even look at a picture of a snake without freaking out. I did not push Calvin on her, but within a week or 2 curiousity got the better of her and she decided to meet my boy. Since Calvin was a yearling he was past the whippy nippy baby stage. He was slow moving and gentle and Karen was fascinated with his color.
A few days later she called me up.
"Beth, guess what? I got a snake!!!"

Calvin is now 14.
Her snake Stella is 13.
Stella came from the same place the Calvin did, and we think they are related. :)
 
Thats a nice story STARSEVOL!
A few of my friends who let curiosity get the better of them haven't gone as far as getting one for themselves but they have been brave and had a touch and even a hold of mine. One friend who I only see about twice a year came up last week and the first thing she asked was how are my snakes and can she hold one. She has never touched any other snake but mine and thats the way she wants to keep it i think! lol :)
 
Thank you all!

such good stories and thoughts everyone! Thanks so much! :)
I think maybe I got so excited about this new hobby/love that I assumed everyone would be happy for me and interested too and I wanted so much to share it with them. Then I got a lot of negative responses and got discouraged. I suppose for now I will keep most of my "snakey talk" between us and of course my husband, daughter, and dad.
Hopefully others will come around. You'd think I got some new contagious disease or something the way these people are acting! lol
 
Convert 'em!!!!
I actually had 2 friends this past year that HATE snakes. Both photographers. One of them came to me, and wanted to do a photoshoot with my snakes for an "unusual pet" project in her photo class. We did the shoot, and I brought a variety. Corns to rats to a ball python. After working with them for a few hours, she started baby talking them and even holding a few, or redirecting them to get a better shot.
The second had a project for her digital media class. Again, she needed to take photos of the snakes for a "slideshow video" thing. She came over at least 3 times to watch feeding and even just regular handling. She's still a bit iffy on them, but I did get her to touch one of my boas. :D
 
Don't worry about it...people who don't own snakes sometimes just don't get it. They don't understand the animals themselves so they are afraid or have misguided preconceptions about what snakes are like.

I have a few family members who did not like/were afraid of snakes. To the point that they swore they would never come over again. To this point, almost all of them have been to my house now and have at least touched, if not outright held, some of my snakes. My stepbrother even asks to see specific snakes now when he comes over.

They will come around, and if they don't - then they don't. You can still be friends with them - just with different interests in common. Believe me, there are plenty of us here to keep you company on the snake front!
 
Don't get discouraged, just understand that different people have different reactions to things. (Didn't that sound all wise and knowing and stuff? Dang, I'm good!) But seriously, folks...

If they don't like it they may never like it, and it ain't worth the heartburn worrying over it. If they come over, drape a towel over the snakes or something. It's a pretty simple solution, no matter how much we may disagree with it. If they're worth your time, you can accommodate their squeamishness or whatever.

My Dad hates snakes, about as much as I hate spiders, so we don't discuss it. If he ever makes the trip to come visit (doubtful, considering how his sight is failing), we'll drape a sheet over the snake area.

I've spent a good part of my life with people looking sideways at me - try playing the bagpipes if you want really weird looks - and have found it's not worth my stress to fret about the pitiable shortcomings of the great unwashed uninformed uneducated masses. Feel sorry for them (but don't let it show!!), accept them for the few paltry things where they are worthy, and move on. :dgrin:
 
I wouldn't worry about it too much. If they're really your friends, then they'll still be. It just might take them time to get used to the idea of snakes in your house. I wouldn't PUSH the snakes on them either. If you're asking for respect, then they deserve the same.

My mother is DEATHLY afraid of my snakes. She threatened to never come visit too. BUT, within months, she was staying in our home. The snakes are in another room and I make sure that the door is closed and that I respect her "fear" of them. We do have ONE snake in the living room and she sometimes looks her over, but mostly just ignores her (Kokoro - my Vietnamese Blue Beauty). She sometimes is interested, but mostly just ignores the fact that they're there.

Hopefully, if your snakes are in another room, your friends will eventually feel comfortable enough to come over and have tea - in a different room than your snakes. Eventually, they might even become curious - I'm hoping they do!

Good luck... and remember, if they dump you, you have US!!!!
 
I am going to be less "pushy" and not bring up the subject. And I guess if they dump me because of some snakes then they're not to awesome of a friend anyways huh! Thanks so much for all your advice! I like being on here and actually having someone to talk to about snakes!!! :)
 
In college once I dated a girl whose mind was a beautiful meadow of pure driven snow. Not a single track or trace of thought marred the beautiful smooth empty surface of her mind. My conversations and days just seemed to lack something.

Then I started dating a bright young woman with a double major, business and german. Brainy, witty, and fun. She changed my life....and we remain very close friends to this day. Twenty-seven years later.
 
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People are weird. Some will like them, some won't, and that's perfectly acceptable. With any luck, your best friend will come around. Even if not, your friend is your friend... If they're worth the trouble, you can just accommodate and respect that fear.

That said, if you have a friend that is overly dramatic about it (i.e. someone who screams "EWWW!" whenever you so much as mention your snakes), that person is likely not worth it. At least, in my experience, that kind of person isn't worth it... A truly good friend will tolerate your odd hobby. Maybe not to the extent to coming to your house, but at least so far as to say nothing when you feel like talking about the scaly things for a minute.

One of my two best friends is a bit snake-phobic. Once she found out I had a snake, she told me to NEVER expect her to come to my house. Under any circumstance. Despite this, she never complains or even makes a face when I talk about snakes (which is a LOT, because I'm obsessed and the other friend is very accepting). This is what I call "someone who's worth it".

As opposed to her, I have a cousin (responsible entrepreneur in his 30s) who makes a face and mentions how much he dislikes snakes and he'll never go near our house (which sucks because he's a contractor and there's almost always something wrong with my house) whenever they come up in conversation (again, a lot. My mom likes to use me and my "antics" as a conversation starter whenever we end up at a family function). I don't deem him worthy of effort, just like I don't bother with most of my extended family (his father and step-daughter included--the uncle makes faces and the step-daughter "ew"s) or potential friends who start throwing a fit the first time I mention that I like and keep snakes.

Of course, that all is just my opinion on it. The snake-phobic friend has since begun to come around... About 6 months after she found out I had a snake (shortly before it became plural "snakes"), she pretty much HAD to come to my house--she, the other friend, and I were rehearsing a mini-play for one of our classes at school, and my house was the most convenient and suitable location of the three. She was (cautiously) handling Mallie by the time she went home. These days, she's slowly but surely getting over her fear: she still won't trust any snake except Mallie, but she can recognize beauty in a snake and she's thrilled by the thought of cute little baby corn snakes. The other best friend has come to love the snakes and can only think of the "I have no room!" excuse whenever I try to convince her she needs a Kenyan Sand boa or a baby corn snake of her own. ;)

Woah. I'm sorry about the length. I'm really long-winded. I really do envy all you concise people!! :eek:
 
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