Snake-Self Advertisments! Post Your hets!

[K. Rene]

So this started on a new members thread
http://www.cornsnakes.com/forums/showthread.php?t=97498
and rather than continue this hilarious round of comments there I decided to make it it's own thread.

So if I were advertising myself like we advertise snakes, my add would be...

0.1 College Student, Breed from Sweedish, German, Indian and French bloodlines. het for blue eyes, brown hair and stubborness.
Feeding on frozen/microwave meals (hot pockets, pizza ect) and ramen noodles
Temperament: usually sarcastic and sometimes b!t(hy but loves to be held

How about ya'll???

 

[Candy_Cane1]

0.1 Not yet a college student, Breed from Irish/native american bloodlines. Het for Red hair, blue eyes and the inability to tan.
Feeding on whatever mom keeps in the fridge, and Dr.Pepper
Temperment: Well..LOL.

 

[wade]

Krene I'll take two of those to go.

 

[wstphal]

0.1 German x Welsh, homo for blue eyes & stubbornness, het hypererythristic hair, het blond hair, het for musical talent, het for bad temper, 50% het for linguistic talent. Hatched from very small clutch, probably past optimal breeding age. Feeds well on f/t, p/k, alble to subdue live food safely if required.

 

[RobbiesCornField]

1.0 College Student/Disney Cast Member. Expressing blue eyes. Hair color changes with sun exposure (seriously). 75% German, 15% Danish, 10% Euro-mutt. Proven breeder once, after that, preferred a different kind of tail. Het for who knows what.

Feeding on: massive quantities of cheese and bacon, preferably on pizza or a burger. Not that fond of frozen pre-made meals. Prefers fresh.

Temperament: Primary language is sarcasm.

Notes: This specimen holds a PhD in B.S., a Masters in Procrastination, and a Doctorate in Diva-tude. Probably why only a proven breeder once.

 

[Candy_Cane1]

Proven breeder once, after that, preferred a different kind of tail.

:awcrap: :headbang:

 

[Susielea]

0.1 Cockney of strong determined lineage, interesting green-ish blue-ish grey eyes, develops freckles when exposed to UV rays, maybe a little past breedable age, showing some silver in the colouring now, but a proven breeder with healthy offspring.

Feeding; prefers fresh meat over processed with a good mix of veggies thrown in, not a picky eater, very reliable!

Easy going and acclimatises well, co-habitable and comes with free companion!

 

[wade]

Proven breeder once, after that, preferred a different kind of tail.

Probably why only a proven breeder once.

I don't want to pry, I really don't, but would you expand on that just a little. Are you a daddy?

 

[RobbiesCornField]

I don't want to pry, I really don't, but would you expand on that just a little. Are you a daddy?

I would have been, if it weren't for my ex-gf's witch of a mother. Let's just say I'm glad she was in jail for a long time and I don't know where she is now (her mom, not my ex).

 

[wade]

OK, so you are a probably breeder.

 

[Candy_Cane1]

So was it her mom that turned you? Who do I have to punch in the throat?

 

[Candy_Cane1]

:fullauto: :headbang: :roflmao:

 

[Darcpixie]

Robbie, that is almost worse.

Given that I have carried a total of 5 babies, 3 went to term, 1 was adopted by a wonderful family, and two live with me...

If you care to expand, PM me, please?

Oh.

0.1 brown haired brown eyed unknown heritage female. No background information was given when I was transported to my new home at 3 days old, so your guess is as good as mine. Proven breeder with proven defective reproductive orgins, so new excision and zipper install required.

 

[RobbiesCornField]

So was it her mom that turned you? Who do I have to punch in the throat?

No, her mom... well... See below.

Robbie, that is almost worse.

Given that I have carried a total of 5 babies, 3 went to term, 1 was adopted by a wonderful family, and two live with me...

My ex-girlfriend was 6 months along when her mom pushed her down a flight of stairs. The resulting head trauma and brain damage was more than enough to cause a miscarriage.
As sad as it was, it was still a blessing in disguise. I was only 13 at the time.




EDIT: Sorry, didn't mean to kill the frivolity of the thread. Carry on!

 

[wade]

13? That would make you like 2 in snake years and probably only 2 feet long and 200 grams. Way to early young man.




I know I'm shallow and unfeeling. It's just the way I am.

 

[RobbiesCornField]

13? That would make you like 2 in snake years and probably only 2 feet long and 200 grams. Way to early young man.




I know I'm shallow and unfeeling. It's just the way I am.

Bah. Like I said, it was about 8 years ago. I still wanna kill the wench, but at least I can talk about it now. A few years ago, I was still bursting into tears whenever I thought about it. And we love your shallow unfeelingness. LOL

 

[ZoologyGirl]

0.1 Psycho zoology freak. Chippewa, German, French, Irish, Dutch, Welsch, and possible hidden's I don't know about. het for brown, often snarly hair and brown eyes.
Feeding on: gummy worms
Temperment: bitey

 

[wade]

Bah. Like I said, it was about 8 years ago. I still wanna kill the wench, but at least I can talk about it now. A few years ago, I was still bursting into tears whenever I thought about it. And we love your shallow unfeelingness. LOL

I knew you would understand.

 

[desertanimal]

1.0 College Student/Disney Cast Member. Expressing blue eyes. Hair color changes with sun exposure (seriously). 75% German, 15% Danish, 10% Euro-mutt. Proven breeder once, after that, preferred a different kind of tail. Het for who knows what.

:roflmao: Good one, Robbie! Cracked me up!

 

[windowswisher]

0.1 College student. 100% Czech. Het for brown eyes, black hair.
Feeding on salads and boring healthy stuff these days, but loves it if you toss her a tater tot.
This one's a snuggler! Past match-ups complain that she can be too affectionate and hogs the viv. If she's having a rare "sleep over," she really needs her own hide!