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So... What do I do now?

S

SnakesRule1234

New member
My threads fail 95% of the time, but maybe I will get advice from you guys.

Well, you might have noticed that my location has changed from Armpit of America (or New Jersey; same thing) to Rietberg, Germany. In 3 or so weeks I'm going to my dad who lives in Germany, and I will probably stay there.
Well, I'm a bit worried about going... because of my mum and because of my snakes.
I KNOW I have to give up/sell my snakes, but the ones I have left are the ones that are close to my heart and it would make me feel horrible just giving them away with and adoption fee of, for example, $40 and not knowing what would happen to them. I'm really afraid that they won't go to a good home. I trust some people on here because I've "talked" to them for some time but not on Craigslist or something.
The whole idea of moving to Germany scares me, going to school and fitting in with the people. I will have less than half a month to a whole month to learn some German (school start August 1st there, I believe), and at the moment all I know is "guten tag". Yeah, like THAT will get me somewhere in that country.
I also have some personal problems with family, but that's not for the forums and the world to hear.
Anyway, should I go or should I stay? I'm a bit of a wanderlust, I have to say, I cannot stay in one place for too long, and I haven't seen my father in 6 years. I also feel like I would get a better education in Germany than in the USA.
What do you guys think?
 
Wow, this is a tough situation for anyone, especially a teen, to be in. Moving anywhere is hard but moving to a new country would be even harder. We can't be the ones to choose for you because this is such a big issue, but we all sure can give you some guidance!

I think if I were in this situation, I would be very reluctant to leave the country that I know best. Even if my father lived across the sea, I would not want to move. Will you be going to a school that is taught only in the German language? Are there international schools there that would have classes in english? It is going to be extremely hard (maybe impossible) to learn a whole new language in a matter or months. That would be my main concern with moving out of the country.

I think you will make friends anywhere, but it may be hard at first. I boy who used to go to school with me had to move to Venezuela. He got into a international school and now has slowly learned the language and is doing great. He has friends down there and is actually having a great time.

So back to you. Talk with your family. Call your dad in Germany and talk to whoever lives here. Decide on which choice is going to be the best for you and your future. Snakes are just a small part of your life right now. Don't base your decision off of them. Do what you think will help you succeed in life.

Good luck.
 
Wow - what an adventure! How old are you?

I have no idea if your dad is a good father or lives in a good situation. BUT - although it will probably be the scariest and most difficult thing you have ever done, living in a foreign country, making new friends from another culture, and learning another language at a young age could change you forever, and give you a boost in life that few young Americans can compete with.

Back in the '90s, we had several foreign exchange students from many different countries over the course of a few years. When they arrived, most knew English only from classes and book learning, and were not really proficient in the language. But within several months, their progress was amazing! The kids who left 6 - 10 months after arriving were totally different in their levels of maturity and confidence.

Your task will be more difficult if you are planning to stay through graduation. My understanding is that high school in Europe is more like community college in the US. And you will be at a disadvantage trying to learn a new language. But if it takes an extra year to finish, so what? You will have accomplished SO MUCH in that time! You will gain perspectives you could never get by staying in one country, even if you went to graduate school here.

If you are ok living with your dad, think of this as an opportunity of a lifetime that few are ever offered. Even if it doesn't work out for some reason, try to stay for a full year if possible. Then you will get the same benefits out of it that our exchange students received. And if you should have to come back home and repeat a semester or a year (unlikely, since your studies will probably be at a high level over there), then it will still be worth the experience.

My niece just got out of the Army a short time ago. She was stationed in Germany for a couple of years. She had already studied German in school, but was amazed how her language ability improved after a few months in the country. She made some great friends there and is really happy for the experience.

It will be a shame to lose your pets. Maybe the most important ones could find a babysitter for a while. But this is a chance that you should consider as a life changing event - don't pass on it without a lot of deep thought!

Good luck whatever you decide!
 
Dave123 said:
Wow, this is a tough situation for anyone, especially a teen, to be in. Moving anywhere is hard but moving to a new country would be even harder. We can't be the ones to choose for you because this is such a big issue, but we all sure can give you some guidance!

I think if I were in this situation, I would be very reluctant to leave the country that I know best. Even if my father lived across the sea, I would not want to move. Will you be going to a school that is taught only in the German language? Are there international schools there that would have classes in english? It is going to be extremely hard (maybe impossible) to learn a whole new language in a matter or months. That would be my main concern with moving out of the country.

I think you will make friends anywhere, but it may be hard at first. I boy who used to go to school with me had to move to Venezuela. He got into a international school and now has slowly learned the language and is doing great. He has friends down there and is actually having a great time.

So back to you. Talk with your family. Call your dad in Germany and talk to whoever lives here. Decide on which choice is going to be the best for you and your future. Snakes are just a small part of your life right now. Don't base your decision off of them. Do what you think will help you succeed in life.

Good luck.
Click to expand...

Thanks Dave, the school over there has a program (similar to ESL in the states) that will help me learn the language. I don't think that will be a huge problem but I will be worried that I won't understand a thing when learning with big words and such.
Another thing is the fact that the USA and Europe are on different levels when it comes to learning. I will probably be considered stupid, so that plus the language might be hard. I am a pretty fast learner though so it might come easy, I'd have to start now, though.


And also thanks Kathy! I've done a lot at 13 (14 in July)... I have definitely had many adventures in the short time I've been alive (but that's another story, I guess).
I kind of agree with you... If I graduate school there I might be a bit smarter (in a way, as I said before Europe learns more/better) and I will know about 4 or 5 languages: Polish, German, English and French/Latin. If I decide to come back to the states I would probably get a good job with my education and stuff. If I don't want to go to the states I might go to the UK as it's my dream to live there.
The snakes ARE the least of my worries, I guess, and they shouldn't make the decision for me, but they are somewhat part of it.

Thanks guys, more opinions are welcome.
 
You are VERY well written for a 13/14 year old - much better than many adults, lol! That will be a great help to you.

Do you already speak some of those other languages, or do you expect to learn them in Europe? If you already speak another language, German will be much easier to pick up quickly than if you are just now learning your first foreign language. It is much easier to learn it at a young age. Also, because you are so young, you have a lot more time to "catch up" in your high school career than if you were already 16 or so.

I agree with Dave 123 that it will be really hard to do. But it is even harder to move to a totally new place when you are older and well established in one place for a long time. By taking the challenge at a young age, you have the support (at least financial, hopefully emotionally as well) of a parent to help you through the tough times. Then you will feel the confidence to do anything you want, anywhere you want, once you are an adult. It will be easier for you if you are able to have a "fallback plan" to come back home if it just doesn't work out. I don't know if that is possible for you, but it will give you more confidence to try it if you know you can come home if need be.

It is possible to send corns to Germany. It can be expensive, but you can arrange to send them with one of the American vendors at the spring or fall Hamm show, probably for $200 - $300. If your dad will let you keep a few favorites, maybe you could sell the others to pay the shipping for a few.

Do you have some trusted adult relatives who know your family situation, and can advise you of the pros and cons in making this decision?
 
My first language is Polish, second is English. You learn French or Latin at the schools, kind of like when we have French and Spanish over here.
If it doesn't work out I can always go to my family in Poland or I can come back to my mum in the states. I'm pretty glad I have a back-up plan, that way I can take the chance and maybe not regret it later as I can "re-do" it or fix it.
I pretty much know all the pros and cons of moving there... My mum and dad both talked to me about it.
Oh yes, and about shipping the snakes, I am aware that you can send them. $200 - $300 isn't much, but I don't have any corns (I know- what am I doing here, then?) and with the $700 ticket, plus the $80 or so for a package(s) to send my stuff in, and many. many other expenses it comes out to a lot.
Because Hamm and Rietberg are in the same state (North Rhine-Westphalia) I could just take the bus there or something.
This sucks, but I guess I'll have to give them up. I can always get others but I will never replace them.

Thanks Kathy; again. I think I will go, I really have my mind set on it... And I think it will help me in the end.
:)
 
I think you are a very lucky young man to have such an opportunity. There aren't many people give one like that. With your having been able to learn 2 languages fluently I'm sure you will not have a problem at all with learning german.

Good luck to you and whatever the future brings your way.

Nancy
 
I agree with Kathy it is a chance of a life time that could imporve your life, think of the advantages of learning a new lanage and even about a new culture so to speak, always a chance to visit the Hamm show and even pop over here for a weekend. Good luck with your choice I hope it serves you well
 
SNAKEWISPERA said:
lots of people in germany speak english

and this is a phrase you will be saying alot
ich nicht sprechen Deutsch
Click to expand...

Ich spreche

Du sprechst

Es sprecht

Wir sprechen

Sie sprechen

Ihr sprecht


Suddenly, I'm back in 8th grade......mit Herr Woch. :grin01:

regards,
jazz
 
I'm quoting my cousin on this one, when he served on a military base:

"If the United States were to ever require an enema, the tube is inserted into Maryland."
 
jazzgeek said:
I'm quoting my cousin on this one, when he served on a military base:

"If the United States were to ever require an enema, the tube is inserted into Maryland."
Click to expand...

he must have been stationed at Aberdeen Proving Grounds then lol...

Man what an adventure, to be able to go to another country at thirteen. Plus you have back up plans too. Go for it. Hamm has a snake show, you can more while over there:*)
 
SNAKEWISPERA said:
Do they call it the armpit, because it smells.
Click to expand...

I've always heard that New Jersey is the armpit of America. Never Cleveland... But it doesn't matter, what the place is.
I guess you could say New Jersey smells, (it even has a town called Buttzville!) Ugh, I can't even describe it. A lot of crime too. There's some very friendly Bloods on my street and a couple blocks down are the Crips. :rolleyes:

Thanks for the comments, guys. Kind of made the decision easier. I'm definetly going now, and I bought a lot of books on german and many academic books to help me out. :)
 
Well, I am supposed to leave tomorrow, but I won't be going. I'm heaving some health problems at the moment. I've ended up in the hospital a 3 times this week. And also a lot of personal things going SO wrong with my father and my mum I decided to stay one more year. I know I will hate being in the US but it will only be for a little while.

I'm kind of sad I won't be going to Hamm THIS year, but, hey, there's always '09. And it means I will have Spike and I'm probably going to get another snake.
 
So sorry that you can't go! It would have been a great adventure. Don't give up - be sure to try for it again next year if you can.
 
Yeah, it's a huge problem now with the tickets. I just doubt I would be able to physically and mentally leave without my mum, especially there to help me.
It's all confusing now and everything is messed up.

Better luck next year. :(
 
I have a friend who has two Burmese Pythons who relocated to Germany about a year and a half ago... and took the snakes with her. They weren't able to go right away, and it took ALOT of back and forth with CITES and such, but she was eventually able to get them shipped. I imagine, with smaller snakes, it's MUCH easier. If you like, though, I can put you in contact with her, if you wanted to ask her questions about what she did. :)
 
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