Your most significant life event

[Lucille]

Looking back, many people can recall a past event that made an indelible impression, and perhaps even changed their lives. Was there any such event in your life?

 

[ghosthousecorns]

I have had a life threatening accident, it was the first thing that I thought of when I saw the poll. So that was my vote. I have never been married, divorced, or fought in a war, have yet to "get religion" and getting laid or falling in love really didn't change my life as much as that accident did.

 

[danielle]

I said other as in having my children. Nothing more life changing and wonderful than giving birth to a child you created and holding them in your arms- its insta love

 

[Carinata]

Hmmmmm well I did send around 7,000 text messages last month and it was exciting!

 

[Lucille]

I said other as in having my children. Nothing more life changing and wonderful than giving birth to a child you created and holding them in your arms- its insta love

You are totally right, and I should have included that event as a choice. Both my son's births certainly changed my life significantly.

 

[Nanci]

You left out giving birth! Or getting pregnant, for that matter. But that is not my choice. Everyone does that.

One thing that was very significant happened on a cave dive that I did. I was in a cave up in Crawfordville, home of Rich Z. It is a cave on private property. We'd negotiated permission to dive there. I was in a team of three divers, in the lead, laying line in an unexplored passage. That in itself is amazing, being the very first human to ever set eyes on a section of cave. We were in a tunnel that was clean pale gold limestone. Maybe ten feet in diameter or so. I think the depth was about 80 feet. (Of course it is all documented in my log, wherever that is now...) So I'm swimming along, already in a state of excitement, with the other divers behind me, surveying, when the passage appeared to come to an end. But there in the floor was a hole just big enough to drop through. Into a giant black room!!! It was SO big, I couldn't see the top, bottom, or sides. I started screaming to my dive buddies!!! We swam across at our depth to the other side. The room was about 200 feet across. Because we didn't have the right gas to dive much deeper, I tied off my depth gauge and dropped it. 250 feet deep!!! Amazing. I have a tiny fossil that I picked up at the entrance to my pit. We returned many times to explore the pit, to find the way out, but to my knowledge, no one has, yet. Not many people cave dive at the exploration level, and very few get to actually lay line. Even fewer get to discover a significant feature. It's a day I will never forget.

 

[desertanimal]

The first time I lived in a tent, in Madagascar, on the edge of a riverbank, 70 km and an 18-hour canoe/car/ferry trip from the nearest phone/electricity in 1997 was a life-changing experience for me. It was the first time in my life I had ever felt "at home." It was the first time I understood what that phrase meant.

I now feel "at home" in my own home, with my wife and pets, and I feel at home in two places--in the field and at my house--but that time in 1997, when I was 22, that first time of feeling "at home" was what made me know that I had found at least one route to happiness.

 

[snakemom1961]

I said other. That was having my children. I can't think of anything more significant, or something that has given me more joy and heartache over the years then being a mother.

 

[tsst]

Mine would have to be the birth of my daughter. She was born near 18 years ago, 3 months preemie. I can remember like yesterday seeing her 2 lb 12oz body for the first time. I can remember like yesterday when the neonatal ICU doctor told me she had less than a 50% chance of living to the end of the week. I remember like yesterday sleeping about three hours a day, working eight hours and spending every other available second with her not knowing how long that might be. I remember like yesterday all the iv's, and meds and care. I remember like yesterday the stomach tube for feeding as at that point in development she had no suckling reflex. I remember like yesterday needing to have an O2 monitor because she would just stop breathing and would need stimulated to start again. I remember like yesterday holding her the first time with her butt on my wrist and the back of her head on my finger tips. I remember like yesterday after every new goal and date surpassed we celebrated like it was her birthday. I remember like yesterday after 10 1/2 weeks in neonatal ICU taking her home for the first time. And I remember now every minute of joy she has brought into my life.

 

[diamondlil]

I had that too, twice! My 2 oldest boys are 20 and 19, born at 24 and 27 weeks. When I was in my 3rd year of nursing studies, a nursing assisstant introduced herself, she'd worked at the NICU then. She'd remembered on the day my eldest was born, I wasn't crying and she'd asked me why. (It was her job to comfort and look after the parents of those tiny scraps of life). Apparently I'd answered that that might be the only day I got to spend with my son and I wouldn't waste it crying. I'd forgotten those words until 10 years later when she told me she'd used them to help others. Hopefully my life-changing event helped her to help others in the same situation.

 

[ZoologyGirl]

I don't have kids, haven't been married or divorced, pass on religion, haven't fought in a war....I do have no life, was tempted to choose get laid :laugh:....decided I better pick 'graduation'

 

[Roy Munson]

Falling in love, for me. It all seems silly now, but the first time was pure and unjaded. The second "Beatles Greatest Hits" was playing on my boombox in a gazebo in the center of town. I went there to woo one girl, but left loving another. It was crazy, teen bs, but it was hugely significant at the time.

I was a youthful idiot.

 

[Bobo's Mama]

For me, it was getting divorced. If I hadn't gotten divorced, I don't think I'd even be here today, or at least if I was here, I'd be just an empty shell. Getting divorced definitely gave me a new chance at life. An opportunity to start fresh, get out from under $100K in debt, and start a savings for my future. :dancer:

 

[Hypancistrus]

My college experience was pretty significant in shaping the person that I have become.

I found myself in college.

Haven't done a lot of the other things on the list.

 

[vetusvates]

Other. That/this is pretty personal for me, Lucillle. But for you, I will answer that question.

It would be close between four.
1) When I was 15 y/o, I caught my father with the town whore, all drunk and naked and in a human double-pretzel configuration...and was left scarred by it. He made me promise not to tell, or else, told me he was glad it was me and not my mom who caught him, and told me that I would be doing the same thing in another 15 years. Yes.....he did.
I promised myself that I would not hurt a wife, a son, a family, or do anything of the kind....and I have kept that promise to myself.
But 'infidelity' hurts, destroys lives, and injures the human spirit. I know.
2) Deciding not to finish medical school, halfway through, caused some friends, and family, who I thought loved me for just being me....to drop me like a hot potato and never speak to me again.
3) Divorce-like. On September 9, 1994, I had a life partner (or so I thought) of four years, that moved out when I was working the 11pm-7am shift. Took the furniture, the dog, the cat, the dishes, the contents of the joint bank account, etc.,....and left me a spineless 'dear john' letter. I have remained partnerless since that very morning that I got home, and with a keyturn...my life changed. I found out later that he had been cheating on me (yes, the 'infidelity' theme again), with various people, and would just order me another double vodka on the rocks when the waiter asked him, "...weren't you just in here the other day with a so-and-so with so-and-so hair?....".
4) Over the past 20 or so years, almost all of my gay male friends from the early 80's college years and party years...have one by one died of AIDS. I have no long time gay male friends my age. I was kind of prudish in the sexual domain---so I guess that is why I'm still here---I realized very early that what I wanted with another human being went beyond just the sexual act. Sometimes I feel very alone, literally, generationally,...a number of ways.
5) The day in the summer of 2006 when my baby sister called and told me she'd been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis.
Gosh, I don't know which is worse, the instantaneous shocks...or the prolonged...

I think that's about it, Lucille.

 

[wade]

This is a personal thread. Have you noticed that Lucille starts these threads but never comments or reveals her position? I'm still deciding if I'm going to throw my hat in the ring on this one.

 

[vetusvates]

This is a personal thread. Have you noticed that Lucille starts these threads but never comments or reveals her position? I'm still deciding if I'm going to throw my hat in the ring on this one.

Wade, Lucillle (facilitator) reminds me of some counselors I know. In starting up good discussions, but never getting too invested herself,...or better said, stepping out of the way for the real emotions to flow.

I started to start a really "lucillle"-like thread last Friday, but I felt uneasy about going into, or more especially asking people to volunteer of themselves by going into, certain deep intimate personal realms.
In other words, the thread was going to be a "What makes us the way we are?" thread. I first conceived of it when desertanimal and I were posting, then PM'ing, and I was realizing that many conflicts on the forum come from very passionate and articulate people, who are different not because they are less right or more wrong, but because they are a product of ingredients of life experiences...that may be entirely different than the next person.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not so pollyanna that I want everyone swaying around a campfire singing kumbaya, but I do believe that the more one knows about another person's ingredients,...the more likely one can ease into a position of empathy and a comfort zone with even vastly differing personal opinions.

 

[Ricky87]

My first biggest life changing experience was when I found out Darth Vader was Luke Skywalker's father; I still haven't gotten over that one..Maybe I never will.....

 

[Maligator]

For me, it was re-meeting my biological father. He wasn't a part of my life growing up; so, on graduation night, when I saw him for the first time since I was two, a flurry of emotions were spinning around. On one hand, I was angry and hurt that he hadn't been there; and on the other I was excited and overjoyed that he traveled across the country to watch me graduate. The most significant part of this was the moment when I let go of all the anger and was just genuinely grateful to have him back in my life.

 

[Lucille]

This is a personal thread. Have you noticed that Lucille starts these threads but never comments or reveals her position? I'm still deciding if I'm going to throw my hat in the ring on this one.

Wade, I did respond to my own poll; and I often come along later in a thread I've started and say something that shows how I feel. But I do tend to try to facilitate conversation so others can write about their feelings.

Wade, wherever your hat ends up, we will still love you.