RosieReal
New member
:crying: (<~ this is what I've been doing for the 45min I've been home)
So I just came home from work. I've had a bad day...but to explain why its so soul crushing, I need to give you some personal background/ history.
Not too much, I promise. I know its a lot...but I have to get this off my chest. I'm home alone and going insane...
My job is as Assistant Manager of a coffeehouse in my area. Its a fair trade, organic, coffee roastery (and coffeehouse, which is the part I work in), worker owned co-op. This means that everyone who works there gets a share of a percentage of the profits, and once you've been full time staff for two years, you can buy shares in the company and become a worker owner...you get to help make decisions about the company and such. Their motto is "the people and the planet before profits". The way this statement is backed up is because of how heavily the company works with co-op's around the world to help them develop unions, form and establish worker co-ops, build schools... basically help people in producer countries (which are usually developing countries). There is much focus on what the company does for humanitarian efforts in other countries.
I have been an employee at this company for five years. I have recieved a total of 4 raises, two were cost of living raises (which means minimum wage went up, so the company bumped up their wages by the same amount as the minimum wage increase...say .20 cents an hour) and two I asked for.
When I was hired, the manager at the time was CRAZY. She was abusive to her staff to the point that everyone BUT me quit. on the same day. The result of this was I worked 21 days strait until we had more staff hired and trained. Through all of this the crazy manager continued to verbally abuse me, yell (and I mean yell) at me in front of customers, make inappropriate comments on my clothing, personal life, and family members.
I stuck it out because my parents taught me that when you get a job you do your best, and don't let anyone stand in your way. I never got a thank you, or a 'good job' from anyone. whatever. most of the time the pay check is enough.
The crazy manager was fired, a new one was hired, life goes on. Right around this point is when I found out that all the new staff were making a dollar more an hour than me. I spoke up. I was told that it was because of my age...regardless of my experience(at this time i'd been with the company a year and a half). At the time I was 17. it was a year and a half later (with the company three years full time at this point) that I got the raise I felt I deserved, because there is no reason one person should get more money for doing the EXACT same job if both people are doing an equally good job. I would have understood if they were unhappy with my quality of work... But no one had much bad to say, even when I literally ASKED for criticism(I was late three times in my entire career...thats all that was mentioned to me). I must have been doing something right. I was, about a year ago, promoted to assistant manager. I was promised more money beause there was alot more work involve. I took it all on happily without my raise first because they 'want to see how i do with the new responsabilities before it becomes permenent' so I was basically proving that I could do it. When it became clear that I was great at the new tasks, I was given even more duties...and then the current manager left and I was stuck running the place. for 8 months. I did the job the manager had been doing, and I did a good job too. I ran the staff, kept everyone working, and everything that needed taking care of was done. The manager that left was the one who promised me more money. A new manager was hired after I had been left to run the cafe. That bugged me. I had expected to be offered the job, and had voiced my desire for the position. They told me to apply officially, so I did. They hired someone else...and I was promised more money, and the assistant manager position back (keep in mind, I never got the raise I was promised when I took on that ass.man. position the first time...so they're really just saying 'we will give you the raise we've been telling you about').
Then I was told that we'd have to wait until the new year. Then I was told I'd have to wait for my yearly review.
Now I've been told I will not be getting my raise. I can ask again in three months, and it was suggested that i try to 'work really hard to deserve it'
...
I've never felt so crushed in all my life. I HAVE been working hard! I've been working my hardest this whole time. Everyone there, when they have a question about anything, they ask me. I've been there longer than my boss, my bosses boss, and the heads of the three other departments. I've been working for basiclly FREE (based on managers wages) for almost two years!! Not only that, but I wrote a letter that highlights all the things I've been promised, all the things I've been let down on, and how badly I've been treated. My supervisor AGREED with me. Told me that he had never seen a company get away with treating someone so badly. And in the same breath says '...but we still think that you can do better and if you show us you really want it, then we will give it to you'
The real bitch of it is, I LOVE my job. I love the product, the ethics behind it, the art of coffee (there is an art to it..) the culture, my coworkers...why else would I have stayed for five years? but how can I...if I have not proven my worth in five years of working my guts out (I start at 7 most mornings and dont leave until I'm sure everything is taken care of)
I want to be recognized for SAVING that place...I am the reason it survived. I know all of this...I'm not trying to talk myself up. Its just simply how it is. I want to feel like I have value. Its like nothing I do matters...it only matters if it doesn't get done.
so why dont they care that I've given everything I have? I have no reason to belive they will give me more money ever. I've been told 'work hard, three months' before. They've promised and lied so many times...all the while claiming to put people before profits.
There was a guy hired on three months ago. I am still doing the assistant manager duties. New guy makes the same amount I do. This is expected to continue.
I feel taken advantage of, unappreciated, used....they've treated me like for five years and I've only just now realized they're not ever going to treat me better. I would love to just walk out with the middle finger held high, but its my only recent job reference. Thats what I get for loyalty.
oke:
My feelings are so hurt...I tried so hard. I've decided to quit, but in a good way. So I can keep my references. I just feel so low right now... so very very low...:awcrap:
I guess they won...they got me to work for peanuts and never had to give me a raise.
I feel a little better...getting it all out...but all I wanted was to be paid fairly for the work I do...why is that so wrong?
So I just came home from work. I've had a bad day...but to explain why its so soul crushing, I need to give you some personal background/ history.
Not too much, I promise. I know its a lot...but I have to get this off my chest. I'm home alone and going insane...
My job is as Assistant Manager of a coffeehouse in my area. Its a fair trade, organic, coffee roastery (and coffeehouse, which is the part I work in), worker owned co-op. This means that everyone who works there gets a share of a percentage of the profits, and once you've been full time staff for two years, you can buy shares in the company and become a worker owner...you get to help make decisions about the company and such. Their motto is "the people and the planet before profits". The way this statement is backed up is because of how heavily the company works with co-op's around the world to help them develop unions, form and establish worker co-ops, build schools... basically help people in producer countries (which are usually developing countries). There is much focus on what the company does for humanitarian efforts in other countries.
I have been an employee at this company for five years. I have recieved a total of 4 raises, two were cost of living raises (which means minimum wage went up, so the company bumped up their wages by the same amount as the minimum wage increase...say .20 cents an hour) and two I asked for.
When I was hired, the manager at the time was CRAZY. She was abusive to her staff to the point that everyone BUT me quit. on the same day. The result of this was I worked 21 days strait until we had more staff hired and trained. Through all of this the crazy manager continued to verbally abuse me, yell (and I mean yell) at me in front of customers, make inappropriate comments on my clothing, personal life, and family members.
I stuck it out because my parents taught me that when you get a job you do your best, and don't let anyone stand in your way. I never got a thank you, or a 'good job' from anyone. whatever. most of the time the pay check is enough.
The crazy manager was fired, a new one was hired, life goes on. Right around this point is when I found out that all the new staff were making a dollar more an hour than me. I spoke up. I was told that it was because of my age...regardless of my experience(at this time i'd been with the company a year and a half). At the time I was 17. it was a year and a half later (with the company three years full time at this point) that I got the raise I felt I deserved, because there is no reason one person should get more money for doing the EXACT same job if both people are doing an equally good job. I would have understood if they were unhappy with my quality of work... But no one had much bad to say, even when I literally ASKED for criticism(I was late three times in my entire career...thats all that was mentioned to me). I must have been doing something right. I was, about a year ago, promoted to assistant manager. I was promised more money beause there was alot more work involve. I took it all on happily without my raise first because they 'want to see how i do with the new responsabilities before it becomes permenent' so I was basically proving that I could do it. When it became clear that I was great at the new tasks, I was given even more duties...and then the current manager left and I was stuck running the place. for 8 months. I did the job the manager had been doing, and I did a good job too. I ran the staff, kept everyone working, and everything that needed taking care of was done. The manager that left was the one who promised me more money. A new manager was hired after I had been left to run the cafe. That bugged me. I had expected to be offered the job, and had voiced my desire for the position. They told me to apply officially, so I did. They hired someone else...and I was promised more money, and the assistant manager position back (keep in mind, I never got the raise I was promised when I took on that ass.man. position the first time...so they're really just saying 'we will give you the raise we've been telling you about').
Then I was told that we'd have to wait until the new year. Then I was told I'd have to wait for my yearly review.
Now I've been told I will not be getting my raise. I can ask again in three months, and it was suggested that i try to 'work really hard to deserve it'
...
I've never felt so crushed in all my life. I HAVE been working hard! I've been working my hardest this whole time. Everyone there, when they have a question about anything, they ask me. I've been there longer than my boss, my bosses boss, and the heads of the three other departments. I've been working for basiclly FREE (based on managers wages) for almost two years!! Not only that, but I wrote a letter that highlights all the things I've been promised, all the things I've been let down on, and how badly I've been treated. My supervisor AGREED with me. Told me that he had never seen a company get away with treating someone so badly. And in the same breath says '...but we still think that you can do better and if you show us you really want it, then we will give it to you'
The real bitch of it is, I LOVE my job. I love the product, the ethics behind it, the art of coffee (there is an art to it..) the culture, my coworkers...why else would I have stayed for five years? but how can I...if I have not proven my worth in five years of working my guts out (I start at 7 most mornings and dont leave until I'm sure everything is taken care of)
I want to be recognized for SAVING that place...I am the reason it survived. I know all of this...I'm not trying to talk myself up. Its just simply how it is. I want to feel like I have value. Its like nothing I do matters...it only matters if it doesn't get done.
so why dont they care that I've given everything I have? I have no reason to belive they will give me more money ever. I've been told 'work hard, three months' before. They've promised and lied so many times...all the while claiming to put people before profits.
There was a guy hired on three months ago. I am still doing the assistant manager duties. New guy makes the same amount I do. This is expected to continue.
I feel taken advantage of, unappreciated, used....they've treated me like for five years and I've only just now realized they're not ever going to treat me better. I would love to just walk out with the middle finger held high, but its my only recent job reference. Thats what I get for loyalty.
oke:My feelings are so hurt...I tried so hard. I've decided to quit, but in a good way. So I can keep my references. I just feel so low right now... so very very low...:awcrap:
I guess they won...they got me to work for peanuts and never had to give me a raise.
I feel a little better...getting it all out...but all I wanted was to be paid fairly for the work I do...why is that so wrong?
