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Somewhat new member/Having issues with members

CornyApollo

CornyApollo

Proud Owner of Apollo
It may just be me, but I've noticed when posting inquiries in the forums that many members seem hostile or condescending. I belong to other forums such as beardeddragon.org, where members are nice and explanatory. I understand most members are breeders or have had cornsnakes for awhile, but it makes it harder for new owners to feel comfortable posting questions. I have posted several threads inquiring about certain things so that I can give Apollo the best care possible, yet it seems I'm annoying others with my amateur questions.

I am in no way saying that members are excessively rude, I would just like to express my concern. :)

Thank you.
 
Honestly? I thought something similar. It just happens when people are passionate, I figure.
Being part of the minority here sucks though, I noticed.

I don't post much due to being mocked and such.
 
--oh man, I should have clarified, I wasn't very sensitive when I posted before though, so I was sort of asking for it.
 
Illidan said:
Honestly? I thought something similar. It just happens when people are passionate, I figure.
Being part of the minority here sucks though, I noticed.

I don't post much due to being mocked and such.
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Eh. I understand. I was actually thinking about doing the same, but no one has been too rude yet. I know there must be nice members somewhere. :) But like you said, I guess it happens when people are passionate. I'm glad I'm not the only one...I thought I was being too sensitive.
 
I think some members have expectations. They expect people to research about there corns and do searches about questions before they ask them.

Yes I agree, some do "seem" agressive when answering questions, but also remember your reading words without hearing the tone of voice being expressed. Thats why some people often put things like lol, !!!!, :), ect... in there posts. Don't always think that someone is being rude when they anwser your question without the expressions, because often they are just giving you a straight anwser. You will find, for the most part, 99% of the posters on this forum are good peeps.
 
Sometimes I can be very sensitive when it comes to pepole on forums but sometimes I might think they are being mean to me when I ask something. So your not alone in this I know how you feel. :)
 
Buzzard said:
I think some members have expectations. They expect people to research about there corns and do searches about questions before they ask them.

Yes I agree, some do "seem" agressive when answering questions, but also remember your reading words without hearing the tone of voice being expressed. Thats why some people often put things like lol, !!!!, :), ect... in there posts. Don't always think that someone is being rude when they anwser your question without the expressions, because often they are just giving you a straight anwser. You will find, for the most part, 99% of the posters on this forum are good peeps.
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Very good advice. I always try to ask questions that I've had difficulty finding the answer to, but I'm sure to an experienced corn keeper it seems easy. ;) I'll try to keep in mind that they're just straight answers. I suppose I'm just used to overly talkative herp keepers on other forums. Thanks very much!
 
I think overall the members on here are a lot friendlier than other forums. I've been on the ball python forum a few times to ask questions and all I ever feel like is that I am getting snapped at. It's the same with the frilled dragon forum, the administrator is very sweet and easy to talk to, but another member flips out at the tiniest thing and tells members that they are going to kill their lizards if they don't take care of it exactly the way she says. I can see how people on here can sound snappy, but it is far less than I've experienced elsewhere. I think I personally get frustrated when someone new comes along and states they are taking care of their corn this way or that, and I make suggestions and they get defensive. Many of us have been keeping corns a long time (while I'm only 3 years into the hobby I think I can at least explain the basic care of corns and know what corns are healthy or not), and I think some members are mildly offended when a new person comes in and refuses to take advice when they have come to us seeking answers. So yeah, I can see how people can take things the wrong way though :) I'm sure the people on the ball python forum are not trying to sound snappy, and I am sure I get defensive, but I will take their advice into consideration even if I may not want to- after all, the snakes come first :)
 
I just read all the threads you have created or posted in and I can't find a single instance that, IMO, warrants this thread. Everyone answered your questions in a normal and decent manner and no one was condescending or in the slightest bit hostile.
 
I think the biggest thing with us newbies, is we all need to learn how to use the search on the forum :). Many questions have been asked twenty different ways already, and all have been answered twenty different times.

Now if I spend two days searching for an answer to a question or problem and I DON'T FIND IT, I then post it to get a fresh answer.

I also agree it gets annoying when people give newbies advice, and it becomes a dispute. Bottom line is, its advice take it or leave, don't cause a problem over it just because you don't like the recommendation being gave.

Over all I do think the majority of members try their best to be helpful.

If you had a few bad experiences posting (got nasty replies, etc) continue to post. Try, try again ... No question is dumb or bad. It's having a question and not asking it that is. ;)

We are all here to learn, even someone in the hobby for 10years can still learn something new on here.
 
I'm sure everyone will agree, I'm the queen of questions. Actually I need to use search vs just asking my questions.

I've never run into anyone rude here and I've asked too many questions to count.

I hope you don't leave b/c there are so many knowledgable people here. I finally became a paying member b/c I know I've learned well over $25 worth from this forum (and I like to be able to edit, lol!).

I too, agree that you never know how a person's tone is. That is one large problem with email, forums, etc.

This forum is also very enabling, so be aware!! I started out with 2 and I will have 9 when they all get shipped.
 
So sorry that any of you have felt unwelcome in any threads, whether it was intentional or not. Please accept a big welcome from me, anyway!

I don't believe I have read any of the threads in question, so can't give an opinion as to whether I would consider them rude. I believe there is never any reason to be rude, and would personally rather stop posting if I am finding participation too irritating, but I do understand the frustration some members feel at times. As mentioned earlier, sometimes the same question is asked over and over, on an almost daily basis. I believe that it is not difficult to just politely suggest reading the FAQs, (or just not respond at all), but I guess some just have a lower irritability threshold than others, lol! And I can really understand frustration over somebody who asks for help but refuses to accept the answers, arguing continually to try to get the answer they really want instead of what has worked well for most of the members. Still, a polite referral to the FAQs, and then bowing out, would be a good solution, in my opinion. Of course I am not suggesting that the above applied to any of the threads in question - just suggesting that those scenarios do happen a lot.

I believe each long established forum has developed its own culture and community, and each is a little different than others. If you stay here long enough, and continue to participate without becoming defensive, and try to give the other member the benefit of the doubt when you think they may be a little sharper than you would like, I think you will very soon find that you are part of this community and will start to consider many of the people here your friends. Many of us have actually met in real life at various reptile shows or other outings. Some have even helped other members out when disaster struck. So please try to keep an open mind and heart, and give us some time before you decide whether or not this community is for you. Most people who stick it out for a few months find that they integrate very well into our group and become valued members.
 
I remember one thread where I offered advice and just had someone replying with points which really didn't address what I was saying, so I gave up on it (having gone back today, I see that the eventual outcome was pretty much as I'd advised in the first place!). I can only offer advice in good faith based on my own experience, but if folks (newcomers or otherwise) decide not to take it, then that's entirely their privilege. After all, not 100% of what I say or know is going to be right. That's the point at which I try to bow out gracefully and leave the discussion to others.

Apologies if I've come across as a bit of a "know it all" or made anyone feel unwelcome as a result. I guess that can happen when - as Kathy says - you've had the same debate in slightly different forms, many times over several years of board membership.
 
i dont care what most people say, there are some really haughty members on here. no, i wouldnt call it a majority, but enough have written in a condscending text for it to warrant my attention. and if someone gets the vibe theyre being disparaged, or talked down to, who are we to say what theyre feeling isnt true, or is wrong, or hast no merit?

ive gotten my share of infractions on here, some for sticking up for the little guy when he/shes being talked to in a way i dont feel is right. i hope new members oneday can come here and not fear mocking, condescending replies, or haughty attitudes. but on another hand, some of us are very close here, not in a cliquey kind of way either. i usually recommend the chat to newer members because its where ive met some of the nicest people on this forum (and that ive ever met), and theyre regulars in there.
just dont be too shy. knowledge is power, and most all of us here are just as capable minded as anyone else, and might one day be the ones giving advice to joe schmo, who once belittled us in text. and remember a lot of us on here do things our "own" way, so its helpful to take in advice from numerous sources, then make an assessment of your situation/question after considering the different views & opinions. what works for one person may not work for you in all circumstances. sorry about the long post! hope this helps some.
 
I know I was in many of the OP's threads. I have gone back and reread all the threads and I don't see an area were I was direct to the point, condescending or just flat out rude. However, I know two people can read the same thing and take it two completely different ways. So I want to send out my apologies if I made you feel that way. I know you were talking to about us as a whole but I still want to offer my individual apology.
 
cmalchow said:
I know I was in many of the OP's threads. I have gone back and reread all the threads and I don't see an area were I was direct to the point, condescending or just flat out rude. However, I know two people can read the same thing and take it two completely different ways. So I want to send out my apologies if I made you feel that way. I know you were talking to about us as a whole but I still want to offer my individual apology.
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thats very sweet of you cmalchow. we need more people like you around here. and i know what you mean about 2 people taking the same thing differently. theres no room for inflection in text.
 
I haven't been on very long, but I do see where some members will treat newbies rudely. For a long time I was afraid to post questions or try to help others. But there are so realy really really awesome people on this forum. I have met some that I know call my good friends!
 
visceralrepulsion said:
i usually recommend the chat to newer members because its where ive met some of the nicest people on this forum (and that ive ever met), and theyre regulars in there.
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I totally agree with you on this Vis... It was in chat that I found the nicest people. They helped me with all my questions and didn't treat me like I was dumb when I didnt know something. I can now call them good friends! :wavey:
 
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