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"Guns are the cause"

Take into consideration that many parents, at least the ones I know, are afraid to spank their kids, because of the threat "I am going to call child protective services!" In fact, my brother in law threatened me with that one day after he pushed me out of his way and I told him that if he did it again he was going to pick himself up off the floor. This kid is 13 and as tall as I am and probably weighs about 50 lbs more than I do. I told him that he has at least 15 minutes before they get to the house, and if he wanted to call them, to be ready for the beating of a lifetime.
Of course he never called them, but he had to be sure that I was serious. It is the reason that my mother in law is so afraid of spanking her children. They know how to get their parents in trouble....

I said all of this to say one more thing, Without the correct punishments, and teaching our children cause and effect through positive and negative reinforcement. If a child does something that warrants spanking, they should be spanked. Everyone I know that grew up with spankings are very respectful people. There were times I could not sit right for a week because I got such a hard spanking, and has it messed me up mentally? No.
 
Outcast said:
Take into consideration that many parents, at least the ones I know, are afraid to spank their kids, because of the threat "I am going to call child protective services!" In fact, my brother in law threatened me with that one day after he pushed me out of his way and I told him that if he did it again he was going to pick himself up off the floor. This kid is 13 and as tall as I am and probably weighs about 50 lbs more than I do. I told him that he has at least 15 minutes before they get to the house, and if he wanted to call them, to be ready for the beating of a lifetime.
Of course he never called them, but he had to be sure that I was serious. It is the reason that my mother in law is so afraid of spanking her children. They know how to get their parents in trouble....

I said all of this to say one more thing, Without the correct punishments, and teaching our children cause and effect through positive and negative reinforcement. If a child does something that warrants spanking, they should be spanked. Everyone I know that grew up with spankings are very respectful people. There were times I could not sit right for a week because I got such a hard spanking, and has it messed me up mentally? No.
Click to expand...

Heck, I can hear my dad now if us kids had threatened him with that. He would have just said "Good, you go do that. They'll take YOU away, put you in an orphanage and I'll be rid of you. Here. I'll dial the phone for you...." :laugh:
 
Rich Z said:
Heck, I can hear my dad now if us kids had threatened him with that. He would have just said "Good, you go do that. They'll take YOU away, put you in an orphanage and I'll be rid of you. Here. I'll dial the phone for you...." :laugh:
Click to expand...
Was just thinking the same thing. :D
 
Rich Z said:
Heck, I can hear my dad now if us kids had threatened him with that. He would have just said "Good, you go do that. They'll take YOU away, put you in an orphanage and I'll be rid of you. Here. I'll dial the phone for you...." :laugh:
Click to expand...

I have an older lady friend that has four grown children and one of them pulled that on her once and that is what she told the kid. Interestingly, the kid had gotten this idea from a teacher, who when told that the kid had chores to do, was horrified and told him that was child abuse and he should turn his parents in for that. :nope:
 
Rich Z said:
Heck, I can hear my dad now if us kids had threatened him with that. He would have just said "Good, you go do that. They'll take YOU away, put you in an orphanage and I'll be rid of you. Here. I'll dial the phone for you...." :laugh:
Click to expand...

My dad had this response when my little sister told him that she was going to call them. But, he added that they would have to take her away in a full body cast...lol
 
Outcast said:
If a child does something that warrants spanking, they should be spanked. Everyone I know that grew up with spankings are very respectful people. There were times I could not sit right for a week because I got such a hard spanking, and has it messed me up mentally? No.
Click to expand...
Was it the spankings, or just the strong family foundation? I know a lot of people who act like they got these rugged punishments as a kid, and because of it, they became stronger adults. When in reality it's probably more likely that it was just that they've always grown up with a strong family, that may have used little cushioned spankings to get a point across. I can think of many people who like to glorify how disciplined they were as a kid. It might sound nice when they say "there were times I could not sit right for a week because I got such a hard spanking", but it's definitely not true. Any beating that causes that kind of pain would definitely have negative effects on someone's mental state, at least somehow, as they grow up. So chances are that it's just over embellishing a story. Unfortunately, not everyone is embellishing, and those people who actually endured that type of abuse either - carry on the cycle of abuse, or have the ability to see how damaging abuse can be, and how important it is to stop from continuing.

Now, a small tap on the back of the pants, that's a different story. A slight gesture to get the point across is all that is. I just don't like the delusion that some people seem to have, which is: they think back on those slight taps as smacking, spanking, beating, etc... and equate all such claims of abuse as the spankings they had growing up.

Domestic abuse is a serious problem, and I think that people far too often undermine it because they believe that we're an overly soft society. Or they trick themselves into thinking that they dealt with "abuse" as a child and it made them a stronger person. The fear of violence as a child is the scariest thing, and there is NO place for violence against any innocent people, especially children.


Just how I feel...
 
Michael823 said:
Was it the spankings, or just the strong family foundation? I know a lot of people who act like they got these rugged punishments as a kid, and because of it, they became stronger adults. When in reality it's probably more likely that it was just that they've always grown up with a strong family, that may have used little cushioned spankings to get a point across. I can think of many people who like to glorify how disciplined they were as a kid. It might sound nice when they say "there were times I could not sit right for a week because I got such a hard spanking", but it's definitely not true. Any beating that causes that kind of pain would definitely have negative effects on someone's mental state, at least somehow, as they grow up. So chances are that it's just over embellishing a story. Unfortunately, not everyone is embellishing, and those people who actually endured that type of abuse either - carry on the cycle of abuse, or have the ability to see how damaging abuse can be, and how important it is to stop from continuing.

Now, a small tap on the back of the pants, that's a different story. A slight gesture to get the point across is all that is. I just don't like the delusion that some people seem to have, which is: they think back on those slight taps as smacking, spanking, beating, etc... and equate all such claims of abuse as the spankings they had growing up.

Domestic abuse is a serious problem, and I think that people far too often undermine it because they believe that we're an overly soft society. Or they trick themselves into thinking that they dealt with "abuse" as a child and it made them a stronger person. The fear of violence as a child is the scariest thing, and there is NO place for violence against any innocent people, especially children.


Just how I feel...
Click to expand...

Call me what you want, but there was seriously a time when I could not sit right for a week. I cannot remember what I did, but I know I never did it again. And, It did not have a negative affect on me. Depending on what you are spanked with, even a small "tap" spanking can leave marks, and sometimes it takes marks to get a point across.

Just how I feel...
 
I think it would be pretty safe to say that any child growing up in an environment where there is no punishment inflicted for doing wrong will likely grow into an adult that will be a problem for society in general.

It is highly unlikely that all children will be able to intuitively know the difference between right and wrong without some sort of guidance and incentive to learn that difference.

Anything, of course, can be taken to excess and extremes.
 
Rich Z said:
I think it would be pretty safe to say that any child growing up in an environment where there is no punishment inflicted for doing wrong will likely grow into an adult that will be a problem for society in general.

It is highly unlikely that all children will be able to intuitively know the difference between right and wrong without some sort of guidance and incentive to learn that difference.

Anything, of course, can be taken to excess and extremes.
Click to expand...

Just as society guides humans in general, parents and other role models must act as a guide in each child's life. I think punishment is the most efficient way to 'get the message across' about right and wrong because (whether a spanking, scolding, chore, or grounding) punishment reaches a kid's instincts and conditions them to think in a particular way. Certainly there is a thin line between acceptable punishment and abuse, though... on the other hand, I do believe that all children have the potential to learn their morals... right and wrong are not objective and I don't think anyone could ever intuitively understand that. Feral children seem to be living proof of this.
 
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