Me or the lps "reptile expert?"

[danigurrl]

Well I got her to separate them at least. She got a new tank today (she said she was just waiting for payday...but she doesn't work ) She came to my house and I told her I worried and irritated and showed her the picture of the cannibalized corn snake.

I told her I'd take up the task of finding her the black corn snake...that doesn't exsist.. So I'm just going to stall forever. hahaha. I hope she doesn't mean charcoal, because thats what I'm getting in a couple weeks (I <3 the charcoals.) If she asks me to get her a charcoal one...I'll just say the breeder doesn't have anymore.

She getting bearded dragons now too....as babies...because she wants to breed them... (shes never bred anything...) I told her they aren't going to breed for a long time...and about their special needs...and how much they eat as babies...but she doesn't care, they are cute and she likes them and she gets whatever she wants. :shrugs:

I'm backing off because all its going to result in is us fighting and losing her as a friend. If I say it jokingly I can get away with it... But if I try to talk serious about it she'll just say I have a bunch of animals...but I take care of all mine. Ugh...if you met her you'd know, its hard to explain, hahaha.

 

[Tyger9791]

:bang: BEARDED DRAGONS TOO?!?!

they will get HUGE (if they survive childhood with her).

i'd put my foot down with her...best friend or no best friend. it's ridiculous.

 

[danigurrl]

:bang: BEARDED DRAGONS TOO?!?!

they will get HUGE (if they survive childhood with her).

i'd put my foot down with her...best friend or no best friend. it's ridiculous.

She wants to sell the babies to her lps for like $60 ea or something. Her boyfriend is all for it. She doesn't pay for anything. He pays all the bills. Blah. I knew she was crazy when she bought "house chickens."

 

[colinmcc]

I knew she was crazy when she bought "house chickens."

:roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:

 

[Muggle]

I told her I'd take up the task of finding her the black corn snake....

Better not let her into the pet store I go to. They have a Black Mexican King Snake labled as a Black Mexican Corn Snake. She might want that one lol. I would definitely do what you can to stop her from owning pets if she's not going to be responsible. I had to do this with my sister who's 12 years older then me. They've had a sulcata tortoise for a year and a half but it's still itty bitty. It was being fed ice burg lettuce and that's it :eek1: , no heat, and it's cage hadn't been cleaned since who knows when. I told her to find it a new home. I even found a few people interested in taking it. She said she wouldn't part with it so I took the pore thing to the vet and I did my research. I gave her a list and said this is what you need to do. She wouldn't do it so I did. It's still at her house (I'm not about to take on a sulcata, I live in an apartment!!!) but at least it's day-to-day needs are being met. I hope she will sell it because I don't know what she'll do with it when it grows :shrugs: . Anyway, just telling you you're not alone! :cheers: (I can't believe I spent all that money on a pet that isn't mine! :bang: )

 

[Drizzt80]

:bang: BEARDED DRAGONS TOO?!?!
they will get HUGE (if they survive childhood with her).

If you call 2' huge that is . . .

Just get a grip on yourself lady!! You are training to help animals and you are knowingly letting your friend get away with this, quite frankly its disgusting, you are as bad as her, screw your friend and report her!!

Wow, seriously? I don't even know what to say to this . . . :shrugs:

Unfortunately, many people will listen to the """expert""" that tells them what they want to hear. She doesn't want to buy another tank and have 2 setups, so the advice she got from the """expert""" is what she is going to listen to. You can only do so much, the rest is up to her. It's unfortunate that she is choosing to continue to stress the little non-eating normal out and she may end up losing it if she doesn't wisen up.

The only thing I can add to this is that some people just need to learn from their own mistakes as unfortunate as those mistakes may be.

Well I got her to separate them at least. She got a new tank today (she said she was just waiting for payday...but she doesn't work ) She came to my house and I told her I worried and irritated and showed her the picture of the cannibalized corn snake.

That's great news! Seems like your calm, persistent approach worked. Good thing you didn't possibly ruin a friendship by breaking down the front door and running to the vet with the snakes!

D80

 

[Tyger9791]

well, yeah 2' is huge to me for a lizard. i used to own a 3' iguana. large lizards such as these need a large enclosure and are more difficult to care for than corn snakes IMO. and if she's planning to breed, well that means even more enclosures. and more animals suffering since it sounds like she doesnt really care for the animals she already has.

i'm glad she at least bought another tank and separated the corns. it's a step in the right direction.
and yeah, i dont even want to get into how much money i've spent on other people's animals and homeless animals! i buy treats for my dogs and my neighbor's dog.

 

[danigurrl]

Well she TOLD me she separated them. I can't drive to her house every day to check on her animals, she lives 45 minutes away from me and she only comes home about every 2 or 3 weeks (she's going to college, she just got an apartment with her bf.)

I still pitty her 7" Koi and 12" waterdog trapped in that diseased half full 10g tank that she forgot about a year or 2 ago. uke01: I don't know where to bring them, none of the local fish places will take them. :shrugs:

 

[Plissken]

To be quite frank with you, I could not be friends with someone like this. If a friend of mine was mistreating an animal, they either sort themselves out or they lose me. You just cannot afford to sit around where living creatures are involved.

No offence. I'm not saying you should stop seeing your friend. Just donating my two-pennyworth.
Hope you can knock some sense in to her :shrugs:

 

[Wachee]

Sometimes we out grow our friends and I think that you are experiencing that time. She sounds like she has always had someone there to clean up her messes (you, her grandmother, boyfriend, etc.) It sounds like she is at least breaking some health code violations. For instance, if she lives in town I doubt that it is legal to keep farm animals (chickens). The guinea pigs will fight/starve if they survive their current conditions. The fish are probably already dead. The idea of her breeding bearded dragons which will get large and need a good size enclosure with UV lighting is ridiculous. I would rather have one well maintained animal than a dozen starving/maltreated/ignored pets. If you don't set her straight then I hope a neighbor calls her in for abuse. If that happens then she will face charges and be banned from ever owning another animal.

I don't mean this to sound harsh toward you, you have been a great friend to this girl. Has she been a good friend to you? She sounds like a person that uses people.

 

[Crow]

Ok....let me go ahead and apologize now to anyone I may offend with this post but I just don't understand. You say you're a vet tech major and hope to work for the SPCA yet you're willing to stand by and let this spoiled brat friend of yours mistreat every animal she has? I'm sorry but at some point someone has to stand up for these animals because they can't do it themselves. Since you're the best friend and are aware of what this girl is doing you need to do something....even if it means risking this so-called friendship. If she really is your friend then she should be willing to listen to you and not just disregard the advice you give her on her animals simply because it's more convenient. If you really want to work for the SPCA or somewhere similar then you need to get used to dealing with people like your friend. It's because of people like her that you're going to have to treat the vast number of animals that are going to be brought in. I'm in complete agreement with Plissken on this....I couldn't be friends with someone like this either.

 

[3330PHILIP]

I AGREE. EXACTLY WHAT I WAS GETTING AT!

If my friend did this i would go nuts, full stop!

 

[danigurrl]

I saw her last night and talked to her again. The snakes still aren't separated...but she said she was doing that this week. One of them still hasn't eatten yet. She has an awesome boyfriend...so I talked to him since I don't seem to be getting through to her. He's going to get the little guy his own set up today. He was concerned about how the snake was acting, so I told him he'd be much better if he was separated. My friends arguement is "they were housed together in the pet store!" Pet stores aren't always right....

But anywho...its been two weeks and I'm trying to handle this rationally and civilized. I'm exercising all my options before I tell her off like some of you guys are telling me too do now. She won't listen...so I took it up with her boyfriend. I'll be back to her house this weekend so I'll see if changes have been made.

ps: the "house chickens" are wicked cute. hehehehe. I got the chickens covered. If and when she gets sick of them when they aren't cute and fuzzy anymore...I have a local farm that will take them and not slaughter them.

 

[Kitty]

It sounds like you're handling a difficult situation in a very mature manner. To me, that's good news for similar future situations where you won't have the forgiveness-factor of a friendship. As much as you may agree (or not) with other posters who would prefer dumping your friend or reporting her, life doesn't always allow for such an adversarial solution as an early choice.

By not starting a huge fight or legal proceeding with the girlfriend, you've been able to approach the boyfriend. Perhaps, since she doesn't work and seems to depend on his income, you could steer him toward putting his foot down and insisting she has enough pets to deal with.

Your progress, as slow as it seems, will probably do more good in the long run. Best of luck with your efforts.

 

[Drizzt80]

But anywho...its been two weeks and I'm trying to handle this rationally and civilized. I'm exercising all my options before I tell her off like some of you guys are telling me too do now.

Keep up the good work. You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. Everyone screaming for you to dump your friend are way off base. What solution does that give your friendship and the animals. If you weren't offering subtle advice to her (and just walked away), I'm sure someone would complain that you weren't 'doing your friendly job' either. Can't win either way!

D80

 

[JenC]

Hmmmm.....

Also, you could bring up the "early breeding" thing. I found out the hard way, and regret it all. Thankfully, when mine bred, they were over 100grams and made it thro. I have since, not even considered housing together, unless another sumthin happens to my moms heart...but this time i will house the males seprate from the females..lol

I think, you should break into her house and take the normal and if anythin, she may think he escaped..LOL but thats jsut me.. (j/k)

I really hope everythin gets settled....you are doing a GREAT job.

P.S., what Petco did you go to? I got 3 of my youngin's from Petco.

 

[jenkva]

This is very sad that she doesn't take your advice seriously but at least her boyfriend does and the suggestion about him putting his foot down is a good one.

Keep it up and hang in there, it is bound to pay off one day!

 

[danigurrl]

UPDATE" Now I'm PO'ed

Well I talked to her again last night, its been almost a month since she bought the snakes and this whole problem started....

They still aren't separated. One of them hasn't ate yet and they had to bring it back to the "reptile expert" and have the poor thing force fed. I'm so angry at her for being so damn selfish. She's coming home tonight to hang out and I have one more offer for her before I tell her off completely.

I'm going to offer to take the stressed out snake for a month or two...I'll get him his own enclosure (nothing fancy, probably a sterilite tub) and I bet he'll start eatting when hes alone. I'm going to see if she'll let me take him for a while and get him on an eatting schedule, then I'll have to give him back...but at least he should be eatting, and I'll ask her to give me like $5 a week to pay for the viv until its paid off (cost of heater and stuff.) She should be able to afford it.

I've been very rational and very nice about this...I didnt want to damage are friendship, but I've tried every other mature approach and it isn't working.

I'm so mad at her. If she says no to my offer I'm going to tell her she's selfish and shame on her for jepordizing another living thing. Then I'm just not going to be able to be her friend anymore, because this is rediculous.

I wouldn't be so stressed out if both snakes were healthy and happy, but one of these hatchlings hasn't eatten in a month and it obviously stressed out.

I hate people. I don't care if she is my best friend, this is too much!!

 

[kimbyra]

I hope this all works out, and I will pray that she sees some sense. Bless you for taking this on! You're doing the right thing. I couldn't stay friends with someone acting this way either, so I understand.
I don't understand why people get pets, then aren't concerned about their welfare. My neighbor's dogs have never seen the inside of their house because they don't like dogs on their furniture. They should'nt have them then. These people need other hobbies and interests, and leave animals alone.

 

[diamondlil]

Oh shame, you have tried a very gentle and nice approach that should have worked with any reasonable person. Fingers crossed you will be able to help this snake in time