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Missing person : Betsy (username: "wstphal")

Yes. Although it isn't common for Borderline Personality Disorder or Bipolar people to have long-term job stability, fear of change can keep them in a job indefinitely.

Also, Borderlines are great at what is referred to as Splitting. This means that they can see something in two distinct, diametrically opposed, ways. It also means that they can split parts of their lives, relegating sections to normal behavior.

For instance, a Borderline person can be immaculate in their role as a mother, but be a horrible-raging-yelling-unstable wife. (Of course, in this example, it is almost impossible to completely separate the two roles). A borderline can be a great parent to ONE child, and a very unstable parent to the rest.

So, yes, there are many Borderlines with long-term careers (mostly in the helping fields, i.e. therapy, health care, teaching, etc.). They maintain perfect facades mostly by keeping the parts of their lives very seperate. Tactics:
-never inviting friends to their home
-never talking about home life at work, to the point where your coworkers don't know if you are married or not, have children, etc.
-creating false stories for other areas of their lives (like telling someone that they are a nurse rather than a doctor) These stories will be true enough to sound believable and instill pity for them. (My husband abandoned me. My children moved out of the country and I have no contact with them. ect.)

So, they will go to work, do their work, leave work at work and the rest of their lives away from work.

Of course, a breakdown happens. It wouldn't surprise me if she has had to take time off for 'health reasons'. There are medications for these imbalances and the medications make work even more possible. Suddenly going off meds can have severe effects, including manic episodes of overindulgence (spending money, making friends, traveling, joining organizations, dating everyone in site, etc.) followed by a down period which usually includes things like intense physical sickness (stomach flu, migraines, inability to stay awake, intense chronic pain, etc.) and mental symptoms which are very depression-like (suicidal thoughts, self-loathing, paranoia, un-motivation, shame, anxiety)

As long as she has kept her work life properly 'split', she should have no shame or paranoia about continuing her job responsibilities.

This group, however, may have her terrified. To the point of lashing out or running away. Think terrified like a cornered animal.
 
Huh. Interesting. You know, I have some epistemological and methodological issues/questions re: psychology and how it comes up with all the different diagnoses of different types of, to be PC, "unreasonably non-functioning." Right now I am supposed to be working on a presentation for next week. But I will come back to it. In a different thread, obviously.
 
Personally I'd be very wary of even speculating about labelling someone with a mental illness online. I'm sure it could be construed as libel.
Sticking to known and undisputed facts would seem to me to be a better option.
 
Naagas, in many ways that sounds exactly like our Betsy.
Say, this is actually the case.
How would coming here and reading a thread like this affect her?

Note: not saying she is or isn't Janine, just that it is a possibility but most actual variables in this equation ARE unknown.
 
desertanimal said:
Huh. Interesting. You know, I have some epistemological and methodological issues/questions re: psychology and how it comes up with all the different diagnoses of different types of, to be PC, "unreasonably non-functioning." Right now I am supposed to be working on a presentation for next week. But I will come back to it. In a different thread, obviously.
Click to expand...

Short answer: whatever the insurance companies will accept!
 
diamondlil said:
Personally I'd be very wary of even speculating about labelling someone with a mental illness online. I'm sure it could be construed as libel.
Sticking to known and undisputed facts would seem to me to be a better option.
Click to expand...

Ok:
DISCLAIMER:
I am not a licensed therapist ATM. I am speaking from experiences in my life and through theory I have been educated in.

I am saying that, from reading this thread, a theory that I have is that Betsy is suffering from a common, treatable, mental disturbance or breakdown.

Of course there are many other acceptable answers to her behavior: a controlling significant other, she joined a cult, she is a con artist who also gave down payments (which doesn't make a whole lot of sense), you guys really all treated her so despicably that she wants nothing to do with you, she got really busy these past months and doesn't think a phone call is in order, all the snakes died and she is too embarrassed/scared to let you all know, she wanted to see what would happen if she just disappeared, she has been taken over by a slug alien who has invaded her body and taken over her mind, etc....

I just wanted to put the possibility out there that she might be legitimately suffering from a mental issue since I see some clues that seem to be consistent with that.

I do this out of concern for the owners of the snakes and out of concern for Betsy, who may need support from her friends here. Support isn't going to come if they don't have any understanding of what is going on.

People are talking legal action, and I thought it was a fair warning that if she is Borderline, legal action can get nasty.

Betsy, if you are reading this, I don't know you nor have I ever even met you. I only have the information from this thread, which may or may not be accurate and does not give me the ability to accurately say anything.
If you need any help, these people are worried and they care.

</end disclaimer>
 
Tara80 said:
Naagas, in many ways that sounds exactly like our Betsy.
Say, this is actually the case.
How would coming here and reading a thread like this affect her?

Note: not saying she is or isn't Janine, just that it is a possibility but most actual variables in this equation ARE unknown.
Click to expand...

If she is suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder (and keep in mind, it is SUFFERING. No matter what a mentally 'ill' person may do or say, they are not happy in their heads.) then what has been discussed so far on this thread will only serve as evidence for what she thinks is true. But, then again, there is no way for you to say anything without her taking it in a way that confirms what she already thinks she knows.

You can say "I love you!" and she will hear "I really hate you but I feel obligated to say I love you because I want something from you, you scummy scumbag!"

So, this thread is not helpful for recovery for a Borderline. In fact, It is recommended that suffers of Borderline abstain from reading/hearing how their behaviors effect others. Unlike other mental illnesses, Borderlines are so shame and guilt and anxiety driven that hearing how they hurt others just aggravates their behavior.

For example, my mother reads my Facebook page (every day, seemingly) to find clues that I hate her and has called me crying and yelling several times, convinced that what I said referred to her some way. (I said that I liked people who use proper grammar when texting. She said I was saying I hate her because sometimes she uses 'u' to mean 'you'. I wasn't thinking about her AT ALL. In fact, to keep my stress down, I try to not think about her very much at all. Even now this is making my eye twitch.)
 
We are moving forward, letters are being sent out soon. Hopefully we will have some progress in the very near future regarding Dr. Westphal.
 
Letters were sent almost two weeks ago, and there has been no word from Betsy. They were sent registered mail and were received by her work, signed for by probably the receptionist. Letters sent to her house were returned by the post office, not by Betsy.

Next steps are probably small claims, which will have to be filed next week. And of course Im moving again, this time to AZ so my time is limited.
 
ratsncorns said:
Letters were sent almost two weeks ago, and there has been no word from Betsy. They were sent registered mail and were received by her work, signed for by probably the receptionist. Letters sent to her house were returned by the post office, not by Betsy.

Next steps are probably small claims, which will have to be filed next week. And of course Im moving again, this time to AZ so my time is limited.
Click to expand...

What did the Post Office say was the reason the letters sent to her house were returned? They have to give a reason...moved, no forwarding address, number not found, etc.
 
Susan said:
What did the Post Office say was the reason the letters sent to her house were returned? They have to give a reason...moved, no forwarding address, number not found, etc.
Click to expand...

One letter I got back said Moved left no address unable to forward return to sender. That was the one I sent regular mail.

Another I sent registered and was sent back saying Attempted Not Known.

And as Angela said, the one sent to her work was signed for by someone else.
 
Yeah the one letter I got returned also said "Attempted Not Known". These were sent to my parents house in IL as thats the address I put on there. AFAIK, I have not received the other letter yet.
 
im sorry guys..

what would make a person change like that though?! that is what bothers me?! i hope they turn up back in the summer when she said they would i hope if they do that she pack them right and informs you of it..

i would be flipping out if it was my snakes i would do something go to her damn work and ask her for them right there! what is she going to say then!

good thing i dont live close to her or i WOULD get your snakes back, but you would then have to all help me make bail! lol
 
I think there are a lot of people who would march up to her and ask her 'what the he!!', but most of us aren't close enough.
 
im sure there is..

i would find the moola somewhere to fly there! ugh i hate when people "barrow" stuff! then drop off the earth
 
I know several people offered to help out with this. We are looking into starting the small claims process, or retain a lawyer. Cant divulge all details in public but things are still moving forward. A bit slower this week though as Im moving on Tuesday. Should be a busy next couple weeks!
 
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