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Missing person : Betsy (username: "wstphal")
- Thread starter vetusvates
- Start date
dionythicus
Kiss My Hearse
Has anything been resolved with this situation?
Kokopelli
Resident Boa Fanatic
Oh I didn't know this thread existed, else I would have responded ages ago.
To disperse a -bit- of the mist... If anyone noted Nanci's post(#41) regarding the down-payment.
That down-payments, which actually accumulated over 2-3 transactions(bringing her to a total of 1000-1500$) were made to the breeder with whom I co-established the Sunfire line of boas we work with.
She was interested in 4 or 5 animals if I recall correctly... and she still needed to send us the rest of the money...
Everything went quite alright really... she sent us money and we saved the animals for her.
At some point though, she simply vanished.
She did not respond to any of my emails- we wanted to refund her, or make other arrangements.... -something-!
This happened many months ago.
This is how things went about:
1- It is clearly presented on my page here that our interaction regarding her purchase began on January 2010.
2- She sent money over the following months but than vanished... our last email from her, promising to send the rest, we received on November 2010.
3- She vanished completely and did not respond to our requests for contact- we wanted to understand what she decided... since we held back the animals for 10 months, Alon was not keen on refunding, but she -was- informed that she has a 1500$ credit to her name which she can receive from the breeder.
We didn't receive a single word to this day... not when we gave her a notification that within 2 months her claim for the reserved animals will be void(though the credit still stands) nor did she respond to the last email where we informed her that she will be able to speak to Alon should she want snakes from him and make use of the money she sent.
I don't think anyone tosses away such a large sum unless something really dramatic happened.
I thought that -maybe- she had an accident with the loaned animals... and she was too ashamed to face anyone whom she may have disappointed...
I really have no idea...
I just tend to think that something awful happened for her to cut all communication so drastically...
I hope she's okay... I feel quite guilty that the transaction did not conclude as it should... the breeder got partial payment but she received nothing for it.
To disperse a -bit- of the mist... If anyone noted Nanci's post(#41) regarding the down-payment.
That down-payments, which actually accumulated over 2-3 transactions(bringing her to a total of 1000-1500$) were made to the breeder with whom I co-established the Sunfire line of boas we work with.
She was interested in 4 or 5 animals if I recall correctly... and she still needed to send us the rest of the money...
Everything went quite alright really... she sent us money and we saved the animals for her.
At some point though, she simply vanished.
She did not respond to any of my emails- we wanted to refund her, or make other arrangements.... -something-!
This happened many months ago.
This is how things went about:
1- It is clearly presented on my page here that our interaction regarding her purchase began on January 2010.
2- She sent money over the following months but than vanished... our last email from her, promising to send the rest, we received on November 2010.
3- She vanished completely and did not respond to our requests for contact- we wanted to understand what she decided... since we held back the animals for 10 months, Alon was not keen on refunding, but she -was- informed that she has a 1500$ credit to her name which she can receive from the breeder.
We didn't receive a single word to this day... not when we gave her a notification that within 2 months her claim for the reserved animals will be void(though the credit still stands) nor did she respond to the last email where we informed her that she will be able to speak to Alon should she want snakes from him and make use of the money she sent.
I don't think anyone tosses away such a large sum unless something really dramatic happened.
I thought that -maybe- she had an accident with the loaned animals... and she was too ashamed to face anyone whom she may have disappointed...
I really have no idea...
I just tend to think that something awful happened for her to cut all communication so drastically...
I hope she's okay... I feel quite guilty that the transaction did not conclude as it should... the breeder got partial payment but she received nothing for it.
Kokopelli
Resident Boa Fanatic
Well, I am not the person who received the money so I can't comment on his behalf.
As a third party though I think that's not a very legitimate demand to make from a seller who held back animals and did not sell them for over 10 months.
The credit belongs to Betsy, and other people who may have issues with her have nothing to do with the transaction between her and a foreign breeder. The breeder owes her 1500$ worth of credit on future purchases and cannot be made accountable for any debts she may have accumulated- be it in money or snakes.
Personally, I would have liked to think that I'd stop the deal and send the money back directly into her account- I wouldn't have allowed for such a long term to pass between a request for purchase and deposits.
Regardless- she wanted boas, I couldn't provide any... I connected the two because he had babies from the line.
I am not the address as to what to do from this point on- I really didn't see anything from the deal. He's a good friend of mine and I didn't make any payment demands for connecting her to him.
ShenziSixaxis
Sticking To The Ceiling
I need to make this comment or it's going to bother me for days. Know that I don't mean anything negative by it, but...
Why should Alon (and Kokopelli?) give that money to other people s/he might not even know? It is not his/her responsibility, and as far I'm concerned, Alon should do what s/he feels they should do with it, whether that be for themself, for what you suggested, for the animals, or for their kids.
That's just what I feel.
PERSONALLY, I would keep that money on credit for 1-2 years before using it for whatever I felt. I wouldn't just send money back to an account because it might not be used anymore.
diamondlil
Mice! They taste so nice!
Is this still no further on at all?
ratsncorns
Bird Nerd
Personally, I just do not have the time to pursue it. Im constantly moving and never in one place very long. Makes it nearly impossible for me to set up a small claims suit and I just cant afford to fly out there. I live paycheck to paycheck. I really want my animals back, but I am just not in a financial state where I can do that without going into more debt. It has been one year since I sent those animals to her, my pets. Im assuming at this point that they are all dead or sold.
ShenziSixaxis
Sticking To The Ceiling
Looks like it.
ShenziSixaxis
Sticking To The Ceiling
So any update on this thing?
Outcast
ATPSS
I think it got dropped when Eric was told by the police to leave it alone... Since the police don't seem like they want to be helpful, there really isn't much anyone can do. Except spend lots of money on Lawyers.. then they would have to be lucky to find a judge that agree's with their plight...
ladyseeking
New member
Hopefully, some small comfort....
I found this site and this thread by an erroneous Google search, and have read this thread several times.
I guess an introduction may be in order; Betsy was my close friend for almost thirty years, She was our Maid of Honor at our wedding twenty years ago.
I and my spouse became romantically involved with Betsy for over 10 years. It was a bit of a long distance relationship where we would visit about every month or so. We were there as she adopted her first snakes then watched as the collection grew.
We also watched as her behavior began to change over 2010 until we visited in early 2011 to find her place a shambles and that the snakes had all passed. We did not know how many were fosters/breeding loans etc. My spouse made her collect the carcasses and my spouse and I grieved their passing. We knew something was wrong but could not say what. She did say that some of the snakes belonged to others and that she would need to make restitution. It seems that it was just one more lie.
I believe that Naagas's thoughts of some sort of Cluster B Personality Disorder may be correct, Also, She evidently was involved in cheating on us with a person who has obvious Narcissistic Personality Disorder which began about this time.
In the fall of 2011 I was diagnosed with Stage IV Head and Neck Cancer so our contact with her was greatly reduced. She evidently increased her relationship with the other person during this time and our relationship became much worse.
We finally went "No Contact" this spring/summer as we became tired of lies.
I am mainly posting about it to here, so that Those who had snakes in her care may at least have closure, and the knowledge that at least someone was there to mourn their passing. They were beautiful animals and deserved better. Please pass this info to those who knew her, I do not know what her plans are, or what she intends to do, save that she evidently broke and walked away from the hobby when the snakes died.
I found this site and this thread by an erroneous Google search, and have read this thread several times.
I guess an introduction may be in order; Betsy was my close friend for almost thirty years, She was our Maid of Honor at our wedding twenty years ago.
I and my spouse became romantically involved with Betsy for over 10 years. It was a bit of a long distance relationship where we would visit about every month or so. We were there as she adopted her first snakes then watched as the collection grew.
We also watched as her behavior began to change over 2010 until we visited in early 2011 to find her place a shambles and that the snakes had all passed. We did not know how many were fosters/breeding loans etc. My spouse made her collect the carcasses and my spouse and I grieved their passing. We knew something was wrong but could not say what. She did say that some of the snakes belonged to others and that she would need to make restitution. It seems that it was just one more lie.
I believe that Naagas's thoughts of some sort of Cluster B Personality Disorder may be correct, Also, She evidently was involved in cheating on us with a person who has obvious Narcissistic Personality Disorder which began about this time.
In the fall of 2011 I was diagnosed with Stage IV Head and Neck Cancer so our contact with her was greatly reduced. She evidently increased her relationship with the other person during this time and our relationship became much worse.
We finally went "No Contact" this spring/summer as we became tired of lies.
I am mainly posting about it to here, so that Those who had snakes in her care may at least have closure, and the knowledge that at least someone was there to mourn their passing. They were beautiful animals and deserved better. Please pass this info to those who knew her, I do not know what her plans are, or what she intends to do, save that she evidently broke and walked away from the hobby when the snakes died.
ratsncorns
Bird Nerd
This means a lot. We all figured they were dead, but had hoped this wasn't the case. I suppose we can all move on now that we know but it's very saddening to know they likely all suffered. It has taught me to be very cautious when loaning out my animals now. Thanks for letting all of us know...
vetusvates
Gamaliel's Principle
Fascinating.
And thank you for the story.
In one of her final logins, after having been already gone for a significant amount of time, she selectively unfriended a few friends, one of whom was me. One regret that I do have is that I was thought to be in any category other than the friends that remained not-unfriended. We were all on the same team of missing and worrying and only naturally pondering about her sudden abrupt and complete absence. My loss in dollars and/or snakes was not immensely significant, as opposed to the situation of many others. Except for trust and friendship. So the rationale of the unfriending was equally ponderous.
And thank you for the story.
In one of her final logins, after having been already gone for a significant amount of time, she selectively unfriended a few friends, one of whom was me. One regret that I do have is that I was thought to be in any category other than the friends that remained not-unfriended. We were all on the same team of missing and worrying and only naturally pondering about her sudden abrupt and complete absence. My loss in dollars and/or snakes was not immensely significant, as opposed to the situation of many others. Except for trust and friendship. So the rationale of the unfriending was equally ponderous.
ladyseeking
New member
To those whose animals were in her care. My Spouse and I are sorry for your loss...