I really do not understand the position being taken here against the original post. Whether you have snakes as pets or use them for your breeding plans or a combination of both, that is your own business. I NEVER see people ranking on folks trying to sell or trade snakes that "don't fit into my breeding plans" or selling their whole collection due to "getting out of the hobby". I think people here started projecting your own feelings about your pets onto the OP. I myself could never part with my beloved pet snake, but there is no reason to shame someone for wanting to trade, since that is so common in this hobby. It is truly bizarre to me that this happened here.
-
Hello!
Either you have not registered on this site yet, or you are registered but have not logged in. In either case, you will not be able to use the full functionality of this site until you have registered, and then logged in after your registration has been approved.
Registration is FREE, so please register so you can participate instead of remaining a lurker....
Please be certain that the location field is correctly filled out when you register. All registrations that appear to be bogus will be rejected. Which means that if your location field does NOT match the actual location of your registration IP address, then your registration will be rejected.
Sorry about the strictness of this requirement, but it is necessary to block spammers and scammers at the door as much as possible.
wanting to start over
- Thread starter cole
- Start date
starsevol
Cohabbing is cruelty...
After a bit of thought, I figured out WHY this thread pushed all my bad buttons.
The kid wants a do over. Getting "Aries the best cornsnake ever" and raising "Aries the best cornsnake ever" was a complete mistake and waste of time apparently.
Whatever he did when he got "Aries the best cornsnake ever" was all wrong, and he needs to start again with another snake.
My feelings have not changed, my indifference to what others think of my feelings has not changed, but it is nice to know WHY I feel the way I do.
That is something!
The kid wants a do over. Getting "Aries the best cornsnake ever" and raising "Aries the best cornsnake ever" was a complete mistake and waste of time apparently.
Whatever he did when he got "Aries the best cornsnake ever" was all wrong, and he needs to start again with another snake.
My feelings have not changed, my indifference to what others think of my feelings has not changed, but it is nice to know WHY I feel the way I do.
That is something!
diamondlil
Mice! They taste so nice!
Nowhere in the OPs one post is there a reason for wanting to trade. He doesn't state he's bored, doesn't say it's been a mistake or waste of time.
Anyone can disagree with projected motives, but getting worked up over imagined wrongs isn't that productive, IMO
Palmetto Reptiles
Done here
Just checked for the heck of it. Cole's last activity on this site was on 4/9 and he logged off at 3:07pm. This was two minutes after his only post on this thread and one minute after the first reply was posted. He has not logged in since then as of a couple of minutes ago.
crotalis40741
Nanci said put sexy bangs
I really think everyone needs to step back and breathe and then maybe come back to this thread with a little more understanding and compassion for each others point of view.
The main thing is everyone has a point of view and it is important to them, it may not be important to someone else and vice versa.
I have to agree that I didn't see anything in the original post that gave a reason or was grounds for indignation.
I really can't understand why a post goes from being posted to a gangland lynching in less than 60 key strokes. How about we try to understand before we pounce. Yes there are some instances where ignorance is blatant and others where ignorance is blatantly implied.
The main thing is everyone has a point of view and it is important to them, it may not be important to someone else and vice versa.
I have to agree that I didn't see anything in the original post that gave a reason or was grounds for indignation.
I really can't understand why a post goes from being posted to a gangland lynching in less than 60 key strokes. How about we try to understand before we pounce. Yes there are some instances where ignorance is blatant and others where ignorance is blatantly implied.
Tara80
ACR Breeder # 787
I just did cut and paste. This is when he logged off: 04-09-2013 12:07 PM
edited to say, nevermind, I guess we're saying the same thing - just location time differences.
VampMN
New member
Just because the world doesn't stop because of what you say, it doesn't mean there is no negative effect on the other people in it.
Apparently you missed the part where I said I agreed with you. I think the notion of getting rid of an adult animal in order to replace it with a cute baby is a terrible thing. And I think this goes for any animal. Be it mammal, reptile, whatever.
You had a terrible experience. I'm sorry that happened. What I think you fail to realize is that you aren't going to have a lot of luck keeping others from making the same mistake when you approach posts like you do. If you are so desperate to keep the same horrible thing from happening again, why on earth would you not try to go about it in a way that might actually be productive? And again, I agree with you on this. I think cohabbing only benefits owners, and only harms snakes.
As far as me being "a popular member ". Where in the world did you ever get THAT idea??? I am most likely one of the most hated people here, for my rather extreme views. But you know what? That's ok! Honestly being disliked by a human bothers me far less than being disliked by a cat.
My mistake. Perhaps I should have said a well known member instead. The funny thing is, from what I have seen, the only thing extreme about you is your posting style. Not your views.
I understand that you don't care what other people think of you. That's great. I even understand that the likelyhood of me changing your mind in any way is slim to none. That's okay, too. Just remember that no snake will be helped if an owner is too defensive to listen to advice.
VampMN
New member
I think it is a wonderful thing when someone can except the thoughts of others, without taking it personally. I think it is something we should all strive to do. I know I could do better at it.
Let me just ask this; How many people do you know that are like you in that respect? How would the majority of the people you have met respond to brutal honesty? In my experience, it usually doesn't go well.
Like I said in my original post, sometimes it does come to the point when someone needs brutal, no holds barred, honesty. I just don't think it is a good place to start.
What do you mean to say? People who breed snakes love their animals less than someone keeping snakes as pets only, so it's not as malicious? The end result is the same in both scenarios, whether you get rid of your snake due to the hobby of breeding or because you got tired of it as a pet. How can you support one and not the other?
diamondlil
Mice! They taste so nice!
Just what exactly is the difference?
witchyrachel
New member
That is the sad part... He asked his question, got 1 very 'sharp' response & logged off. Unless he has lurked without logging on he's been scared off, he didnt get a chance to explain the what's & why's of what he said & he won't have seen the other less sharp responses.
By chasing him away what will happen to his snake? Rather than get help & advice and end with the snake going to a new forever home it may end up on craigslist or in some pet shop... Is that what any of us want to see happen? Of course it isn't but I think the door may have already been closed to us offering a solution.
I will stick my neck on the line here.... I have lurked here for a while now, its daunting to come along to any forum & try to slot in, there are lots of very established members here who clearly have years & years of experience & are established friends, this is a diverse group & people will have differing views. I value all your opinions, or I wouldn't spend so much of my time learning from you but, I have wanted to add my experience to a number of threads in the past but have withheld because I have seen others flamed. Yes there are times when being tough & pointing out something that needs changing is the correct thing to do, and sometimes a gentle response will lead the way to a much better outcome rather than driving someone away.
Cole, if you are reading this I hope you can find the courage to come back & work with the people here who have offered to help.
Rachel
Tara80
ACR Breeder # 787
He logged off before any response was typed. So he literally hasn't seen any of this.
Guruofchem
New member
Ran into this reading a sticky for this forum:
"I'd like us to collectively try to strike a balance here of members, new and old, not being afraid to ask a question or bring a subject up for discussion because they are afraid of being attacked.
I'd like us, as a site, to try to voice our differing opinions as just that, without bringing the other person's intelligence or snake husbandry skills or anything else into it.
I'd like us all to be a little more tactful when we don't agree."
Nanci is right on here - sometimes it takes effort and/or time to craft a response that expresses your disagreement without bashing the other person, but it is worth both in my opinion.
"I'd like us to collectively try to strike a balance here of members, new and old, not being afraid to ask a question or bring a subject up for discussion because they are afraid of being attacked.
I'd like us, as a site, to try to voice our differing opinions as just that, without bringing the other person's intelligence or snake husbandry skills or anything else into it.
I'd like us all to be a little more tactful when we don't agree."
Nanci is right on here - sometimes it takes effort and/or time to craft a response that expresses your disagreement without bashing the other person, but it is worth both in my opinion.
Snickers
New member
Honestly being disliked by a human bothers me far less than being disliked by a cat.
Your cat doesn't like you? *gasps* What an evil little beast! Then again, a lot of cats don't like people... I swear, those cats are plotting to kill us all! :eatpointe And for the record, I don't know about everyone else, but I have no reason to hate you, I think you were simply speaking your mind. Are we not entitled to our opinions?
starsevol
Cohabbing is cruelty...
I don't have a cat. I was talking about random cats.
If a human doesn't like me, meh so what life goes on.
But if any random cat or dog doesn't like me, I am truly sad and wanting to win him/her over.
BloodyBaroness
Captain Titsworth
Cole posted this thread, then logged off at 3:07, almost an hour before any responses were made at all.
He has not seen a single word that has been written.
I wonder if this was a trolling attempt? Post something you know people are going to get hot about, then log off and let them fight amongst themselves. It certainly resembles tolling attempts that have been posted on this site before.
That being said, yes, some people totally went over the top.
Freaking think before you type! Come on guys really, you are better than this. Beating someone about the head and face before you hear the entire story is pointless.
I get that people are passionate, I'm one of the most outspoken and passionate people around, so I understand that. However, have some COMPASSION before you dive down someone's throat or berate them.
Get more the story and if it still seems like shady business is going on, then by all mean jump their crap and call them out for it.
Jesus wept, it makes us all look like crazy jerks.
Think BEFORE you type. How would you feel if someone misinterpreted something you said, then raked you over the coals about it, before you could explain what you meant? You would feel like utter crap.
If someone is legitimately doing something wrong, unethical, or stupid, wait till the facts are on the table, then go off on an epic triad. Those are my favorite kind.
Just give people a chance before you put them in front of the firing squad.Guruofchem
New member
Interesting thesis - I didn't read it that way personally, but I haven't been on here long enough to have a historical perspective.
Think BEFORE you type. How would you feel if someone misinterpreted something you said, then raked you over the coals about it, before you could explain what you meant? You would feel like utter crap.
If someone is legitimately doing something wrong, unethical, or stupid, wait till the facts are on the table, then go off on an epic triad. Those are my favorite kind.
Ready, fire, aim...:fullauto: