Thread netiquette: Off-topic vs. digression

[kimbyra]

You know what's funny, Kimbyra? From your writing style, my mental picture of you was reasonably girly. Not overly so or anything, but definitely on the feminine side. C'mon, let's see a pic!

Thats interesting. I never noticed that. You know I think that my writing style is much more girly than I usually am off line ... I think. :shrugs:

:-offtopic I really don't mind when people meander a little off topic, as long as its not rude. I like to hear the extras. :grin01:

 

[Mary-Beth]

I'm sorry to hear that, M-B. Very sorry. Self is something that is vitally important to me and it pains me to hear when some people find themselves in situations where they cannot be themselves. I hope I didn't joke inappropriately. If I did, I sincerely apologize. If you want to discuss it further, feel free to PM me. Until now, we've really been having fun exploring the issue of the social construction of gender. But I'm glad you reminded me that there are people who get chewed up, spit out, and denied themselves by that process.

PM sent.
Don't worry about offending me, it's pretty hard to do.

I really don't mind when people meander a little off topic, as long as its not rude. I like to hear the extras.

:roflmao:

 

[kimbyra]

I'm at work, so I don't know if I have a pic that I can get to. I have had a shaved head, and also pink hair before, (in my younger days). No gender confusion was invloved, I just like to play and don't feel restricted by societies expectations. I have had a friend say that he would never date a girl that had short hair (mine was at the time). His loss.

 

[Serpwidgets]

Maybe once our society treats stereotyped people equally, and no harm comes to stereotyped people as a result of those stereotypes, then those who are stereotyped will feel a little more comfortable embracing the "truths" that motivate those stereotypes.

Ya, agreed 100%. That was what I meant by society someday having some "common sense."

But Kristi gets that question all the time and has to correct the asker, who is invariably surprised and then there's sometimes a little bit of awkwardness while everyone realizes the assumptions that person has made, and while that person adjusts his or her paradigm. I'm sure the same thing happens with masculine gay men. It's not a huge problem, but it's one I'm glad I don't have.

I don't think this is really a matter of them stereotyping her and saying "she must be straight." It's more like a "blank slate" assumption that all people they meet are heterosexual unless there is some reason to believe otherwise. We just assume all kinds of things about all humans in general, given whatever our "stereotype of humans" is.

I think her situation is more like when you say "hello" to someone... without even thinking about it, you are "blank slate" assuming that they are not deaf and can hear you. It's not really based on a stereotype in the same way as the things that can really get annoying. If that made any sense.

But I think she might also find it annoying if everyone she meets asks her about her sexual preference before asking, "what does your husband do?" I think if all of society did that with everything (A/S/L sexual preference, what kinds of food do you like, music, any medical conditions, is one of your legs longer than the other, what size shoes do you wear, which hand do you wipe with, etc etc :grin01: oh and by the way it's nice to meet you.) it would make social interactions very cumbersome.

 

[jenkva]

Well, I was sitting there at the computer, needing to register so that I could ask about Okeetee personalities (mine was a total psycho last night for his first feeding, btw), and as soon as I got to the point of picking a screen name my mind opened onto the void. After some period of useless pondering for what I consider to be a trifling matter, the word "Teratoma" popped into my head from somewhere. It had a nice ring to it, seemed suitably bizarre and obscure, and so I typed it in, and voila! - it was available and I had it.

-Sean

Fair enough and quite bizarre

 

[jenkva]

LOL! Uh. Yeah. Pretty much. I must admit that I have been rather surprised by all this confusion. I don't often run into it! I told Kristi about the final development of this thread last night and she looked at me like I had just told her that I was actually a martian in disguise. And after staring at me for quite some time she said, "What's not to get? I mean, you've posted pictures of yourself. They've SEEN you. And there ARE NO STRAIGHT WOMEN THAT LOOK LIKE YOU." Of course, she acknowledged that there might be some out there, somewhere, but kept insisting that she had NEVER seen one. :grin01: There is some truth to stereotypes, else, they woudn't be there in the first place.

Kristi breaks it, though. And as a result, she is constantly mistaken for a straight woman, which she kind of hates.

You got yourself a pretty woman there desertanimal !

 

[cka]

You cared enough to reply. I'm not trying to "catch" you here, Chuck, but I'm guessing that your reply is more of a denunciation of forum "Nazism" than a real statement of indifference. If I'm right, I wish that you had elaborated. Maybe I'm wrong, and you really did mean to convey the idea that you are "above it all" and that the rest of us are idiots for discussing this. That's kind of how I read it before giving your reply more thought. :shrugs:

Mybe he just doesn't.....care lol...

I highly doubt Serp is feeling any kind of omnipotence over the rest of us mortal poster's. More likely it's his sly sense of sarcasm we earthbound beings missed

 

[ghosthousecorns]

I'm always getting confused for a man!
I don't have short hair, but am usually dressed to do yard work, and wear a baseball cap a lot because I've had a melanoma and I am afraid of getting too much sun on my face. So people who glance out of the corner of their eye just see the work boots and the cap and jump to conclusions. My hands are callused and fingernails non existent. When people really look at me they don't make that mistake, it's the ones that are too busy to really pay attention that ask me 'can I help you Sir?' lol.
I've had so many assumptions made about me because I'm in a traditionally male field, it's sad how in this day and age people still think 'Men can be doctors, women can be nurses' and all that nonsense. Stereotypes are one of my biggest pet peeves.
I can relate to Mary Beth, my mom was always trying to get me to wear stuff I didn't want to, moms will never give up. I still groan when mine buys me clothes, our tastes are the complete opposite lol.

 

[Roy Munson]

Mybe he just doesn't.....care lol...

I highly doubt Serp is feeling any kind of omnipotence over the rest of us mortal poster's. More likely it's his sly sense of sarcasm we earthbound beings missed

LOL, Chris. I never claimed that Chuck's terse reply implied omnipotence. Superiority perhaps-- but not omnipotence. But I dismissed even this interpretation in my original post.

I think his reply was a silly, throw-away remark. Even the venerable Chuck may make such a remark from time to time.

For true examples of "not caring", go count my replies in the "feeders" sub-forum. I truly do not give two *&^#s about mouse-breeding and morphs, and my posting history there supports that. See what I'm saying?

 

[cka]

See what I'm saying?

LOL, I gotcha bud

 

[stormyday]

Well anyway, let me be the first here to say you make a cute couple.

I second that. Beautiful pic.

I've seen some threads get WAY off topic or people post their own questions or pics, unasked for...I think that is rude. On occasion it is OK, if it's related and/or the original poster is involved.

BTW, this whole thing was an interesting & informative read! :spinner:

 

[desertanimal]

You got yourself a pretty woman there desertanimal !

Thanks. Yeah. I think so too. I'm lucky on that count. And on many others.

Shed'n my skin. Maybe you have hit upon the real source of the problem. Maybe people just don't pay attention. I'm always walking around with people, someone walks by, and I'll say to whomever I'm with, THAT person had really bowed legs. Or, that person has a strange gait. Or, that person had really smooth skin. Or whatever, and unless i'm with Kristi, no one ever knows what i'm talking about because they haven't noticed anything. Maybe people just don't look at people.

Of course, people who aren't paying attention usually correct themselves. I once had an argument with my great-grandmother about whether or not I was a boy. As hard as she tried, she just couldn't figure out which great-grandchild I was. She told me in the presence of one of her old-people friends (who was well aware that I was an 18-year old girl and who was horrified at the awkward situation) that she would eat her hat if I was her great-granddaughter Stephanie. So maybe the not-paying-attention mistakes people make are different from the 3-weeks-and-still-haven't-got-it-figured-out mistakes. :shrugs:

You know, I really like this cornsnake crowd. I like that in general, this board is full of intelligent, articulate, and thoughtful individuals. I kept seahorses for a while (will do so again when I have a real job and can start with a sterile tank so the suckers don't croak) and frequented a seahorse board and everyone there was just a starry-eyed animal lover. Now don't get me wrong--I like animal lovers and consider myself among them. But I like that here the culture is fairly practical and down-to-earth. I like that here, not everyone has to get along all the time, there's lots of room for strong personalities, there's room for dissent and discord. I like that it tends to be a bit live-and-let-live, and the culture here is rather more scientific than starry-eyed. And I LOVE that the culture here values the importance of clear writing.

Cheers to you all. :cheers:

 

[Mary-Beth]

You know, I really like this cornsnake crowd. I like that in general, this board is full of intelligent, articulate, and thoughtful individuals. I kept seahorses for a while (will do so again when I have a real job and can start with a sterile tank so the suckers don't croak) and frequented a seahorse board and everyone there was just a starry-eyed animal lover. Now don't get me wrong--I like animal lovers and consider myself among them. But I like that here the culture is fairly practical and down-to-earth. I like that here, not everyone has to get along all the time, there's lots of room for strong personalities, there's room for dissent and discord. I like that it tends to be a bit live-and-let-live, and the culture here is rather more scientific than starry-eyed. And I LOVE that the culture here values the importance of clear writing.

Cheers to you all. :cheers:

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to desertanimal again.

I feel the same way.


Jen, my mom was the one who gave me my buzz cut.
She just wanted a pic that she could pass out to family members and not get so many comments. It didn't work though. :grin01:

My mom was really cool about the way my sister and I looked. She said that as long as our grades were OK and we weren't doing drugs, we could do anything we wanted with our appearance. My mom was my best shopping buddy too. I love me mum!
My dad was equally tolerant. Of course he didn't have any place to try to make us look a certain way, being a long haired ex carney. I love me dad too! Just wish he hadn't done so much acid back in the day. :grin01:

 

[jenkva]

I've had so many assumptions made about me because I'm in a traditionally male field, it's sad how in this day and age people still think 'Men can be doctors, women can be nurses' and all that nonsense.

you hit the nail right on the head.
I work in Technical Support and how many times in my previous company was I ask if they could speak to the technical department and when I told them that it WAS the technical dept. they asked to speak to a technician to which I replied that I AM a technician. Some seemed surprised and some pretended not to hear (or genuinely didn't hear) and asked again to speak to a technician....
Hmm, now, is that an example of stereotyping or what!?
What really tickled my ribs was when they announced very proudly that they were from the IT dept and I solved their problem in 5mnts... :roflmao:
May I add that most of these people mentioned above were men :grin01:
:sidestep: