Susan
Go Ahead, Make My Day!
I finally finished reading all 100+ posts (so far) in this thread (I spotted it this morning but was only able to read the first few posts before having to do the necessary motherly duties to get my children off to school, and then myself off to work). There have been many excellent points brought up.
I, too, have noticed a change in the tone in some of the threads here on CS.com. But when you create a General Chit-Chat forum, you'll get some threads that tend to attract a different tone. I will be the first to admit that most of the "Forget the snakes..." thread has remained unread by me, even after I made my more recent post on it in answer to the reported post. Since the mods didn't receive any further reports, I had assumed it had gotten better instead of worse. But honestly, a thread like that one is just asking for the limits to be pushed and the bounds over-stepped. What one person views as being perfectly normal when they look in a mirror may be seen as completely bizarre and offensive by another. Do I occasionally make jest of the appearance of others? Naturally...I'm human! And everyone has to admit that they have seen at least one other person whose appearance made them make some sort of comment.
I don't mean to say that the General Chit-Chat forum is the cause of the recent concerns. Yes, before that forum existed, it was more difficult to find a place for the more off-color comments. If I recall correctly, Chat ended up being the place for that sort of talk...and look what happened when things got out of hand there... I like the General Chit-Chat forum and would hate to see it go or get restricted. I would also hate to see the use of some implied profanity or mild sexual connotations be eliminated as well. I've used both, but I've also been offended when I think it has gone too far.
The problem is in trying to draw the line, defining what is and is not allowed. There is the extreme differences in each member's tolerance that is the root of the problem. A perfect example that Dean and I have personally dealt with is the use of a particular "s" word. I put it at the same level, or higher, than the "f" word, while Dean put it lower than the alternate "poop" word. The mods also have to acknowledge that our own individual tolerance levels and moods, as well as each member's tolerance level and mood, is going to vary from one day to the next. There are also all the misunderstood comments to deal with.
And right now, I want to sincerely apologize to any member that reported a post that they found was inappropriate or offensive, but that I "blew off" or replied to as being not that big of a deal. I never meant to make anyone feel that their feelings about something was not justified or valid. There are just times that each of us will have to accept and deal with the offending situation in our own way, even if all we can do is just get over it and move on. Dean, Mike and I are doing our best to keep this forum a place that everyone enjoys. However, if we don't use our own judgments or that of the general consensus, this forum will end up being worse than a recently released secret government document where all but every 26th word has been blacked out due to it's sensitive and still classified nature. Until I hear otherwise from Rich, I will continue to moderate this forum as I have been doing...viewing and deciding upon each individual case as it arises. It may seem at times that the moderators are not treating similar instances in the same manner, and that very well may be the case. But again, we're only human and have our varying tolerances and moods (and I don't even know if Dean and Mike are suffering from menopausal influences or not, but I know that I am) that can and do affect how we handle each situation from one day to the next.
It's already been mentioned, but I'll repeat it...If anyone has a concern about any post, thread or PM, notify the moderators by either reporting the post or sending us an e-mail. You may not get the response to the problem that you desire or feel is necessary, but your feelings will not be, nor have they ever been, dismissed or ignored.
And as a side note, if anyone has a particular problem with how another member posts, you always have the option of putting that member on your Ignore list so you will never have read their posts again.
I, too, have noticed a change in the tone in some of the threads here on CS.com. But when you create a General Chit-Chat forum, you'll get some threads that tend to attract a different tone. I will be the first to admit that most of the "Forget the snakes..." thread has remained unread by me, even after I made my more recent post on it in answer to the reported post. Since the mods didn't receive any further reports, I had assumed it had gotten better instead of worse. But honestly, a thread like that one is just asking for the limits to be pushed and the bounds over-stepped. What one person views as being perfectly normal when they look in a mirror may be seen as completely bizarre and offensive by another. Do I occasionally make jest of the appearance of others? Naturally...I'm human! And everyone has to admit that they have seen at least one other person whose appearance made them make some sort of comment.
I don't mean to say that the General Chit-Chat forum is the cause of the recent concerns. Yes, before that forum existed, it was more difficult to find a place for the more off-color comments. If I recall correctly, Chat ended up being the place for that sort of talk...and look what happened when things got out of hand there... I like the General Chit-Chat forum and would hate to see it go or get restricted. I would also hate to see the use of some implied profanity or mild sexual connotations be eliminated as well. I've used both, but I've also been offended when I think it has gone too far.
The problem is in trying to draw the line, defining what is and is not allowed. There is the extreme differences in each member's tolerance that is the root of the problem. A perfect example that Dean and I have personally dealt with is the use of a particular "s" word. I put it at the same level, or higher, than the "f" word, while Dean put it lower than the alternate "poop" word. The mods also have to acknowledge that our own individual tolerance levels and moods, as well as each member's tolerance level and mood, is going to vary from one day to the next. There are also all the misunderstood comments to deal with.
And right now, I want to sincerely apologize to any member that reported a post that they found was inappropriate or offensive, but that I "blew off" or replied to as being not that big of a deal. I never meant to make anyone feel that their feelings about something was not justified or valid. There are just times that each of us will have to accept and deal with the offending situation in our own way, even if all we can do is just get over it and move on. Dean, Mike and I are doing our best to keep this forum a place that everyone enjoys. However, if we don't use our own judgments or that of the general consensus, this forum will end up being worse than a recently released secret government document where all but every 26th word has been blacked out due to it's sensitive and still classified nature. Until I hear otherwise from Rich, I will continue to moderate this forum as I have been doing...viewing and deciding upon each individual case as it arises. It may seem at times that the moderators are not treating similar instances in the same manner, and that very well may be the case. But again, we're only human and have our varying tolerances and moods (and I don't even know if Dean and Mike are suffering from menopausal influences or not, but I know that I am) that can and do affect how we handle each situation from one day to the next.
It's already been mentioned, but I'll repeat it...If anyone has a concern about any post, thread or PM, notify the moderators by either reporting the post or sending us an e-mail. You may not get the response to the problem that you desire or feel is necessary, but your feelings will not be, nor have they ever been, dismissed or ignored.
And as a side note, if anyone has a particular problem with how another member posts, you always have the option of putting that member on your Ignore list so you will never have read their posts again.
