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I have a question for all my corn snake friends?!?!

I'm not a big fan of teh interwebz drama.

That said, I have no issues with either of you and I'm with Katie on this. I hope it resolves to the best for you both.


Dale
 
I agree. I wish you both the best. You know me- I always want things to work out. But sometimes they don't. You both know what is true, in your hearts.
 
The only problem I have with min, she went to number 7 to 16.. that is all.
I can forgive her eventually for that. :sidestep:

And by the Way Matt, you dont even have a number and for shame.
 
Had no idea about the fight like most here, but I'm sure it's not my business anyway. All I can say is don't let feeling ignored make you ignored, and as for relationship advice all I have is this; "Women thrive on emotions men refuse to acknowledge, so when we're arguing nobody wins..." Talib Kweli. It's a slight generalization, but take it for what it's worth!.
 
Matt and Min, I don't know either of you, but from the bottom of my heart I hope you two work out your personal problems and have a wonderful, happy, long life together.
 
Well I hope everything works out for both of you. I'm glad to see both of you posting on the forum again. :)
 
MinLynn said:
Okay,no I had no idea he was going to post a thread about this,but Matt genuinely is conserned about me.

For those who do not know,Matt and I were considering divorce. I was gone for a while and during that time a lot of things got said that shouldn't have blah,blah,blah...Anyway, Matt and I have worked out our problems and have decided that our marriage is worth fixing. We love eachother very much despite EVERYTHING that has happened in the past(I know things that a lot of you think I don't).

It has felt to me lately that whenever I do post a response to something,that I get no responses back. Probably,why I quit posting. When I did post something I was either ignored or in a couple of cases,yelled at. Now don't get me wrong! There are many people here who have been very dear friends to me in my time of need behind closed doors and I thank them from the bottom of my heart. They know who they are!

I couldn't help but feel a little like I was back in high-school today. You know when you have that feeling that everybody is talking about you? Kindda like that. And I was and am still considering just saying "forget about this." I don't know. Matt doesn't want me to leave and I think he did this just to prove to me that there are still people here who care about me. All I know is he didn't do it to stir up trouble so please don't think he did! We've been through a lot the past couple of weeks(and if you want to know the truth,it's been longer than that). We are both trying to move forward and forget the past and make sure that we have a very long future together(not that 8 years isn't long!).
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I wouldn't worry about it..... Sometimes we say things that require no responce...... It happens to me all the time.... I put it down to lack of interest in the subject. No big deal....
Recently I posted a pic of a special ETB (it cost over 20000) I had a couple of replies even though they were good pics.....
I put it down to the fact it's a corn site and not an ETB site so no real interest in the subject.....
 
Sorry I'm tardy to the party. I've been trying to ignore the drama in general. What you two do in your personal life is just that. PERSONAL. It doesn't need to be blasted all over here and all over facebook. I do hope the two of you are doing well.
 
I haven't seen or heard anything of any drama, all this is news to me....
I do think though, that it would be natural to bring it here as cyber friends can be easier to talk with and everything that is said is there forever, so it's available to analyse again and again....
 
Ah! But there's the rub Robbie! We've both stayed very low-key however the rumors,the back-stabbing hasn't stopped. And it's from members here! How am I supposed to feel when we recieve rude phone-calls stating that somebody told somebody something(phone-calls on a phone-number that is unlisted and we've NEVER given out). How am I supposed to feel when I post a picture and then suddenly I'm getting backlash for that? Am I to now tip-toe around here hoping I don't offend people with the fact that Matt and I are happy and working on our marriage? Others have posted their marital problems and they recieved nothing but kindness and support and were not told "this isn't the place". Why am I told "this isn't the place" and that it's too "personal"? Double-standard much?? I don't know what to post about anymore being afraid of backlash from it. I even tried just keeping it in a private forum and was even told THERE that it was too personal to talk about! Well, what the heck!!?? Can you see why I'm feeling pushed out a bit? I'm not allowed to talk about anything personal,when in reality, it's no more personal than many of the stories posted about by other members. I mean I could really get PERSONAL and tell some stuff that would make many of you sit up and take notice,but I've never done that!

Once again,Matt only posted this to make me feel better about the friends I have here. And I DID feel better and thought "hey maybe it's just a few people who are taking this way too far". I guess we'll see,huh?
 
erm,
Look, I am not familiar with the situation... I have yet to see people trying to work on their marriage on the forums however.
I understand the need one may have for support, but I don't see how a cornsnake forum is indeed the place to begin discussing who is right and who is wrong.
We all need a willing ear at times, and we all use it... but really, I definitely can see how people would feel akward when such subjects are being discussed.

Some things really should be settled privately...

I dunno, maybe I'm just weird...
 
I don't think either have asked ANYONE to take sides...as a matter of fact it has been made clear they didn't want anyone to take sides. I believe the issue is some people on here aware of their issue have taken it upon themselves to take sides telling other members what occured. Mindy felt uncomfortable with some comments she has privately received from members here and wondered if this forum was the place for her anymore and wanted to clear the air so to speak. If people privately were talking about your personal lives, forming opinions, and discussing their take on the situation with others on here who started to treat you different you would clear the air here too:) Its nice to know who your friends are and aren't right?
 
Mindy/Matt just like most people on here I had no clue about all this "Stuff" that is going on. I am glad you two are working it out for the better. Further more I haven't got a problem with either of you and I would like to see the both of you stick it out here. All so I don't ignore your threads or anyone else on here. I know your feelings though about being ignored sometimes with some posts I have made in the past as well.
 
MinLynn said:
Ah! But there's the rub Robbie! We've both stayed very low-key however the rumors,the back-stabbing hasn't stopped. And it's from members here! How am I supposed to feel when we recieve rude phone-calls stating that somebody told somebody something(phone-calls on a phone-number that is unlisted and we've NEVER given out). How am I supposed to feel when I post a picture and then suddenly I'm getting backlash for that? Am I to now tip-toe around here hoping I don't offend people with the fact that Matt and I are happy and working on our marriage? Others have posted their marital problems and they recieved nothing but kindness and support and were not told "this isn't the place". Why am I told "this isn't the place" and that it's too "personal"? Double-standard much?? I don't know what to post about anymore being afraid of backlash from it. I even tried just keeping it in a private forum and was even told THERE that it was too personal to talk about! Well, what the heck!!?? Can you see why I'm feeling pushed out a bit? I'm not allowed to talk about anything personal,when in reality, it's no more personal than many of the stories posted about by other members. I mean I could really get PERSONAL and tell some stuff that would make many of you sit up and take notice,but I've never done that!

Once again,Matt only posted this to make me feel better about the friends I have here. And I DID feel better and thought "hey maybe it's just a few people who are taking this way too far". I guess we'll see,huh?
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With the facebook posts and the posts in the DYK, to me, it seemed that there was a lot of stuff posted that shouldn't have been. The reason you posted in the private forum, you said yourself, was because Matt wasn't there to see it. I just don't think some of the other people wanted it turned in to a "Let's bash Matt because he can't defend himself here" forum. I had no problems with the posts that were simply "Matt/Min and I are going through some stuff, and could use some support right now". It's when the details and bashing each other started that it went over the line, IMO. That's the thing this really isn't the place for.

I love both you guys, and wish you the best. But the details are best left in private, or discussed with people you trust.
 
The nature of such matters makes things far too intense.
We all have a reservoir of bad experiences and anger that rear their ugly heads when they are triggered by such a discussion.
People will take sides, most of us are not qualified to conduct proper couple's therapy- the tension between both sides will cause two sides to be formed- it is inevitable because each person here has that someone out of the pair who he is closer to, and the topic at hand is one which stirs memories and opinions from all of us.
Once such tensions are discussed... there's no way to dust them under the rug, and there are ramifications.

IMHO, a couple should set things straight among themselves... the factors are too personal in nature, and I don't think it is RIGHT to share them like that.
You are doing each other an injustice I feel- the forum is not a tool that will represent the two sides properly... and one, or both sides will end up being hurt.

I think people should also keep their impression to themselves... relationships are a very personal thing, and our own experiences may or may not apply to the situation at hand.

I think that at the end of the day, it's between you two, and that's how it should remain.
If you need people to hear you out... than do ask for advice, personally, in a manner which you can express everything there is to express.

I don't think that a public forum is the right way to go about it- regardless of it being proper or improper- it will simply not yield the right results.
 
danielle said:
I don't think either have asked ANYONE to take sides...as a matter of fact it has been made clear they didn't want anyone to take sides. I believe the issue is some people on here aware of their issue have taken it upon themselves to take sides telling other members what occured. Mindy felt uncomfortable with some comments she has privately received from members here and wondered if this forum was the place for her anymore and wanted to clear the air so to speak. If people privately were talking about your personal lives, forming opinions, and discussing their take on the situation with others on here who started to treat you different you would clear the air here too:) Its nice to know who your friends are and aren't right?
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Thank you Danielle! You said it better than I would've. I've been thinking how to say that without coming off as being rude or confrontational. Lord,I wish I was immature! LOL! Seriously,because then many would understand way better what I'm going through right now. I'm not though. I guess that's just the way I was raised. Good thing I don't drink anymore! LOL! :nyah:
 
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