Lovin2act
I gave my wife herps
Epic! I wish there was a bitch slap emoticon cause that was a total bitch slap! Take that Jed aka Dave!!! :bang:
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Intervention
- Thread starter whippet
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Epic! I wish there was a bitch slap emoticon cause that was a total bitch slap! Take that Jed aka Dave!!! :bang:
John3:16
Well this is me....
:-offtopic Sry about this..Its off topic...but someone told me in a PM that my post was condescending.
I am sorry if it came across that way......I didn't mean it that way at all...I just meant to help....
It wasn't sarcastic, but a genuine offer to get things going.
I didn't offer to take one, as I am a total Noob, and know next to nothing about corns....
but I will if needed.......I'll try my best to keep it properly....
Sry if any offense was given.
Jessicat
All Pied Everything
John, I don't think your post was condescending at all. It was practicing what has been preached here.. or at least attempting to. :shrugs:
Perhaps I think this because I don't really know the OP who you were referring to any more than I know you. Seemed like a genuine offer to me though, a way to show that talking is fine, but action speaks louder than words.
Perhaps I think this because I don't really know the OP who you were referring to any more than I know you. Seemed like a genuine offer to me though, a way to show that talking is fine, but action speaks louder than words.
LBoz
Original Curmudgeon
@John 3:16. The post you made was directed at me and I did not find it the least bit condescending. To you and all the others who offered to help, I sincerely thank you.
@Andrew, thank you for sharing your personal details with us. I truly wish we had known because the people on this forum would have jumped at the opportunity to help, but I'm so glad to hear that things are much better now. I love what you said to Robbie, and that people are here to help him. I'd be willing to bet that not one person on this forum hasn't had life catch them off guard and let things slip in their husbandry. (Well, except Kathy, but I'm referring to actual mortals!
)
Again, Robbie, if you're reading this, I hope you can see this as an opportunity, and know that people here truly care about you.
@Andrew, thank you for sharing your personal details with us. I truly wish we had known because the people on this forum would have jumped at the opportunity to help, but I'm so glad to hear that things are much better now. I love what you said to Robbie, and that people are here to help him. I'd be willing to bet that not one person on this forum hasn't had life catch them off guard and let things slip in their husbandry. (Well, except Kathy, but I'm referring to actual mortals!
) Again, Robbie, if you're reading this, I hope you can see this as an opportunity, and know that people here truly care about you.
wstphal
working in the Gulag
Not condescending in my eyes. Shows you are a good person!
kathylove
Pragmatic & Logical
Thanks, Lori!
Unfortunately, you are wrong about me. I have been feeling kind of burned out for quite a while. It is partly because of the economy, and partly because we decided to sell our place and move - not an easy thing to do in this market. So I have found myself dreading - and sometimes avoiding - animal care. The steps I have taken to "get back on track" is to downsize - a lot! I am hoping that with fewer animals, some of the fun and excitement will come back.
Getting burned out, or out of control, can happen to anyone, no matter if you have just a very few animals, or thousands. It has happened to me a few times over the years. Whenever I started to dread caring for the animals (instead of look forward to it), I always took it as a sign to closely examine what I was doing, and to shed projects that weren't really exciting to me, and focus on what WAS exciting. It is so easy to just continue with the same old projects just because "they are there". The last time I did this was about 5 years ago, and I thinned out all of my kings, rats, and many types of corns that didn't excite me. Now I find myself again examining projects, and again shedding the "excess".
I say all of this not to shift the spotlight to me, but to let EVERYONE know that rough times, burnout, or depression can happen to ANYONE, whether a relative newbie, or somebody who has done it "for a century" (or so it seems sometimes!) Heck, Rich Z. was sounding pretty burned out a couple of years ago - and he fixed it by retiring! Everyone has their ups and downs - and it is easier to deal with it when you have a great support group like this! So nobody should feel isolated when they finally hit their own, personal, "down" time. Just figure out what you REALLY want, and get help to work towards it, if help is needed.
Unfortunately, you are wrong about me. I have been feeling kind of burned out for quite a while. It is partly because of the economy, and partly because we decided to sell our place and move - not an easy thing to do in this market. So I have found myself dreading - and sometimes avoiding - animal care. The steps I have taken to "get back on track" is to downsize - a lot! I am hoping that with fewer animals, some of the fun and excitement will come back.
Getting burned out, or out of control, can happen to anyone, no matter if you have just a very few animals, or thousands. It has happened to me a few times over the years. Whenever I started to dread caring for the animals (instead of look forward to it), I always took it as a sign to closely examine what I was doing, and to shed projects that weren't really exciting to me, and focus on what WAS exciting. It is so easy to just continue with the same old projects just because "they are there". The last time I did this was about 5 years ago, and I thinned out all of my kings, rats, and many types of corns that didn't excite me. Now I find myself again examining projects, and again shedding the "excess".
I say all of this not to shift the spotlight to me, but to let EVERYONE know that rough times, burnout, or depression can happen to ANYONE, whether a relative newbie, or somebody who has done it "for a century" (or so it seems sometimes!) Heck, Rich Z. was sounding pretty burned out a couple of years ago - and he fixed it by retiring! Everyone has their ups and downs - and it is easier to deal with it when you have a great support group like this! So nobody should feel isolated when they finally hit their own, personal, "down" time. Just figure out what you REALLY want, and get help to work towards it, if help is needed.
diamondlil
Mice! They taste so nice!
Well said Kathy.
I know I'm at my upper limit for keepers now, I have such a busy life that adding another 10 or so snakes would seriously affect how well I care for them. Having 78 hatchlings felt overwhelming, making me actually glad that one of the girls I bred didn't get gravid after all. I haven't got endless time, space or funding, so I have to curb my enthusiasm and really think about any new purchases or keepers unless I can seriously commit more of my life to the snakes.
Right now I want to go away on holidays, I want to go riding at least once a week and stay over at my friends, I want to take Rosie out on adventures and I have to work night shifts to support myself and the boys. So more snakes? the wall of racks I covet? Not yet.
I know I'm at my upper limit for keepers now, I have such a busy life that adding another 10 or so snakes would seriously affect how well I care for them. Having 78 hatchlings felt overwhelming, making me actually glad that one of the girls I bred didn't get gravid after all. I haven't got endless time, space or funding, so I have to curb my enthusiasm and really think about any new purchases or keepers unless I can seriously commit more of my life to the snakes.
Right now I want to go away on holidays, I want to go riding at least once a week and stay over at my friends, I want to take Rosie out on adventures and I have to work night shifts to support myself and the boys. So more snakes? the wall of racks I covet? Not yet.
Cattsy
New member
Kathy your post was so well written it choked me up... Many of the responses in this thread I have found poignant and well written and I gotta say I am HONORED to be a part of this community even if just from the outside looking in... THe support, the warmth, the genuine caring I have seen from this community of snake people I have found overwhelming...
When I hit my "bottom" I was the same age as Robbie... Was breeding and showing cocker spaniels, and I had NO support... and got burned badly. Had someone offer to "foster" my dogs for me while I got back on my feet. They then forged my signature, changed their registrations and refused to return them to me when I was again healthy and stable (about a year later)
I found NO support in the community, everyone knew what was going on and what happened, but they all turned their backs on me. Hence why I no longer am involved in dogs in any way shape or form.
I am so honestly impressed by the support shown in the community here!!! And so glad I've joined the hobby
When I hit my "bottom" I was the same age as Robbie... Was breeding and showing cocker spaniels, and I had NO support... and got burned badly. Had someone offer to "foster" my dogs for me while I got back on my feet. They then forged my signature, changed their registrations and refused to return them to me when I was again healthy and stable (about a year later)
I found NO support in the community, everyone knew what was going on and what happened, but they all turned their backs on me. Hence why I no longer am involved in dogs in any way shape or form.
I am so honestly impressed by the support shown in the community here!!! And so glad I've joined the hobby
kshannon
New member
Kathy & Lori I agree, if I could find a good home for my ball and maybe one cornsnake that would be awesome, it is easy to get overwhelmed then you don't know where to go from there, you are embaressed and you don't think anyone will understand. I don't have very many snakes but it still is overwhelming sometimes.
tricksterpup
I has nuttin to Say.
I wanted to say Great Post Kathy.. really good post.
Robbie,
I got a text from Lauren that day they went to your place. It was my idea for the "Intervention." I wanted them to talk to you or talk to others who knew you better. They did and I hope you are not insulted. Please do not be.
I fell into a depression last year due to a bad break up with my ex. Then added with many of my health problems. My cages were not getting cleaned on a regular basis. I would miss feedings on some of my snakes, instead of once a week, it went to 2 weeks.
Kim came out and visited me in June, she gave me the kick in the ass that I needed. My cages are doing much better and so are my animals.
Like I understand, it was a hard change to loose someone who helped you with the cage cleaning and feeding of the animals. Working full time and a 3 hour commute every day, it wore on me. Add Health problems to the mix.. yeah I understand.
I also wanted to add that you are a student, heck remember all those posts you gave to David about what dangers college life can give you? Well I am sure you are going through it now.
I just wanted to wish you the best of luck Robbie and to let you know you may not be the only one going through this as well.
Robbie,
I got a text from Lauren that day they went to your place. It was my idea for the "Intervention." I wanted them to talk to you or talk to others who knew you better. They did and I hope you are not insulted. Please do not be.
I fell into a depression last year due to a bad break up with my ex. Then added with many of my health problems. My cages were not getting cleaned on a regular basis. I would miss feedings on some of my snakes, instead of once a week, it went to 2 weeks.
Kim came out and visited me in June, she gave me the kick in the ass that I needed. My cages are doing much better and so are my animals.
Like I understand, it was a hard change to loose someone who helped you with the cage cleaning and feeding of the animals. Working full time and a 3 hour commute every day, it wore on me. Add Health problems to the mix.. yeah I understand.
I also wanted to add that you are a student, heck remember all those posts you gave to David about what dangers college life can give you? Well I am sure you are going through it now.
I just wanted to wish you the best of luck Robbie and to let you know you may not be the only one going through this as well.
Irish Eyes (Mrs.Z)
Zookeeper
I don't know what to say, as I don't know any of the "players" in this situation, nor am I sure that I have the right to say anything at all, being so new, here. Anyway, Robbie, I just want to wish you all the best and hope that things get better for you, soon .
.
tyflier
[Insert Witty Commentary]
This is an outstanding post.
I went through a pretty serious bout of depression myself not long ago. My snakes suffered, I suffered, even a few friendships suffered because of it. I admit that I lost a couple snakes due to neglect, and that is horrifying to me now. But at the time, I didn't care about anyone or anything. My daughter was my sole reason to face each day for a time period that spanned almost a year.
She's also the sole reason I was able to accept help when it was offered.
It took me several months, and the help of some very good, very close friends, but I am on my feet and doing fine. I narrowed my snake collection to a number that is very reasonable to care for, got my life straightened out, and got my act together.
Depression sucks. It makes you do and say things that are out of character, ignore the people and things you love, and makes you despise everything and everyone around you.
Robbie, I sent you a PM after reading this thread the first time. I want you to know that it is with utmost sincerity that I offer you a place to vent. We've been cyber-friends for a couple of years now, and I've always had a high-level of respect for you as a person and a reptile keeper...and I always will.
If you need me, you have my phone number...
carnivorouszoo
Crazy Critter Lady
I am so moved I am going to type this slowly and carefully consider every word.
This siduation reminds me of me about 13 years ago with my gerbils. I had about 100 gerbils. I was flying high and doing great then something terrible that I have blocked and can not remember the details of happened. I remember sleeping a lot. I began failing the classes I loved and had always gotten As or Bs in. I had no help and when I sought help in the gerbil community I was shunned and blacklisted so noone would take any of my animals even free. They died. All but 6 died. THAT woke me up and I began focusing on those 6. I focused so hard on them it spread to keeping up my room, which led me to the mountain of work I was behind on.
I do NOT want your wake up call to be like mine. Allow anyone who can help to help. I personally have room and feeders for 2 snakes that eat weanlings or adult mice right now and am comphortable in saying I could care for them without stress about 6 months.
My own snakes are clean, with water, no mites. Mind you any fosters in my care would be in a seperate room than my own, for both sides safety. I do not expect my offer to be taken but I wanted everyone, not just Robbie or the other person who voice needing help that I am here for you if you need it. I know my limits which is why I set the rule of only 1 clutch per year that I choose to breed.
If I fall I hope you guys will be here to catch me the way you are trying with Robbie.
This siduation reminds me of me about 13 years ago with my gerbils. I had about 100 gerbils. I was flying high and doing great then something terrible that I have blocked and can not remember the details of happened. I remember sleeping a lot. I began failing the classes I loved and had always gotten As or Bs in. I had no help and when I sought help in the gerbil community I was shunned and blacklisted so noone would take any of my animals even free. They died. All but 6 died. THAT woke me up and I began focusing on those 6. I focused so hard on them it spread to keeping up my room, which led me to the mountain of work I was behind on.
I do NOT want your wake up call to be like mine. Allow anyone who can help to help. I personally have room and feeders for 2 snakes that eat weanlings or adult mice right now and am comphortable in saying I could care for them without stress about 6 months.
My own snakes are clean, with water, no mites. Mind you any fosters in my care would be in a seperate room than my own, for both sides safety. I do not expect my offer to be taken but I wanted everyone, not just Robbie or the other person who voice needing help that I am here for you if you need it. I know my limits which is why I set the rule of only 1 clutch per year that I choose to breed.
If I fall I hope you guys will be here to catch me the way you are trying with Robbie.
Paul-Dominic
New member
HOLY CRAP
I literally cannot believe what I'm reading here...Is this some kind of damn joke? After seeing all that you guys have seen, read what you've read you're still posting you love Robbie? You CARE about Robbie? CRAP! Its a damn shame Robbie here doesn't seem to LOVE or CARE about his animals.
I am honestly sickened by your guys responses. You found dead animals, mites, lethargic animals and you say you love this guy? Is this the way we should treat people who abuse animals? With love? Holy CRAP!
And its "ok" because he is "depressed"? Well if a mother becomes depressed and she neglects her child, doesnt feed it or give it anything to drink and it dies--is that alright? Are we gonna FIX that with Love and support? I mean thats what Robbie here did, he just let animals die around him, instead of giving them up or anything like that he let them sit there with empty bellies dehydrated as mites feasted on their blood and they died. Robbie doesn't deserve any love, he KILLED animals Then he bought 6 more snakes.
Hey Robbie, I dont love you and you're a ing idiot.
PS: Im not moved by anyones love or this "caring" forum, you're all ridiculous.
I literally cannot believe what I'm reading here...Is this some kind of damn joke? After seeing all that you guys have seen, read what you've read you're still posting you love Robbie? You CARE about Robbie? CRAP! Its a damn shame Robbie here doesn't seem to LOVE or CARE about his animals.
I am honestly sickened by your guys responses. You found dead animals, mites, lethargic animals and you say you love this guy? Is this the way we should treat people who abuse animals? With love? Holy CRAP!
And its "ok" because he is "depressed"? Well if a mother becomes depressed and she neglects her child, doesnt feed it or give it anything to drink and it dies--is that alright? Are we gonna FIX that with Love and support? I mean thats what Robbie here did, he just let animals die around him, instead of giving them up or anything like that he let them sit there with empty bellies dehydrated as mites feasted on their blood and they died. Robbie doesn't deserve any love, he KILLED animals Then he bought 6 more snakes.
Hey Robbie, I dont love you and you're a ing idiot.
PS: Im not moved by anyones love or this "caring" forum, you're all ridiculous.
Paul-Dominic
New member
Oh and to people who are going on about depression, Shut up and stop being a bitch, depressions no excuse for letting animals die so stfu about it.
Darcpixie
New member
Remind me how throwing him under the bus helps fix the problem?
The only way to help Robbie STOP this is to be supportive.
Telling him what you did doesn't keep animals from dying, and just pushes him away from the people that could help him fix the husbandry and stop adding to it before he fixes it!
The only way to help Robbie STOP this is to be supportive.
Telling him what you did doesn't keep animals from dying, and just pushes him away from the people that could help him fix the husbandry and stop adding to it before he fixes it!
Paul-Dominic
New member
I think the best way to help Robbie is to send the authorities over to his house, I just read someone offered to TAKE a Mojave BP from him and he said "He'd give the guy a good price". Sounds to me like Someone doesnt think he needs to be hellped or doesnt want help.
tricksterpup
I has nuttin to Say.
Paul, I am really glad to hear you can walk on water.
Paul-Dominic
New member
Cant wall on water but from what Im reading here it does seem I have the amazing ability to see throw this entire lake of bull
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